


If You're Happy and You Know It

by anarchycox



Series: This Is My Family [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anger Management, Angst, Child Bruce, F/M, Fluff, Found Family, Meddling Friends, Medical issues, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Tony Stark, but he is still The Tony Stark, domestic AU, how dare you suggest tony is a kind and loving man, no superpowers, pepper doesn't react to explosions anymore, science bros becomes science dad and son, tony has a pacemaker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:02:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8456377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Who the hell was insane enough to sign up Tony Stark for the big brother program? His wife, it could be her - Pepper is sneaky and tries to create 'emotional bonds' for him. Phil, maybe, though Agent is more likely to taze him. Nick Fury in for revenge, definitely an option. His 7 year old godchildren Clint and Tashie - he puts nothing past them.Well good for whatever idiot filled out that paperwork, not like anything will come of it. He is content being super rich, building things, and having an amazing wife who keeps everything running. His life is pretty darn good these days.What the hell do the people mean they have a perfect match for him in an extremely angry and brilliant 9 year old named Bruce?Don't they know Tony screws up everything especially people?Only of course, after meeting Bruce, Tony is ready to move heaven and earth, and midtown Manhattan, to make sure he doesn't screw up.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi folks welcome to the second story in this series. I wasn't going to start yet but well prologue popped into my head and just a lot easier to write it than let it bug me.

Tony really wished they would stop waking him up. He was fine with sleeping. Sleeping was good. It didn't hurt when he slept.

"Mr. Stark, you need to wake up." The man whispered. He had a name, Tony knew he had a name. He was good with names.

No he wasn't. That was a lie.

He was shit with names, Pepper was good with them, and made him remember them. 

If Pepper had been here, they would have escaped by now, she somehow would have paper worked the bad guys into submission.

Oh wait, he really didn't want Pepper here. That would be bad.

"Mr. Stark, wake up." 

Yinsen, that was the name.

Look Pep, I'm getting better at names.

"Awake bad." Tony managed to slur.

"Dead is worse, sir." Yinsen helped him sit up, and gave him some water, and checked his wounds. The men were very careful not to break Tony's fingers and arms. He had set the leg bone as well as he could and tended the lash marks on his back.

"Dead is starting to feel like a good option Yinsen." Tony admitted. It wasn't like the movies, where you bare up under the torture and make sassy quips. Maybe army guys could do it, ones who had been trained. Rhodey, he bet Rhodey would be spitting blood in faces.

He had been trained to know the periodic table, and to build, and to be useless.

He was so very good at useless. Why didn't these guys understand how useless he was?

"Mr. Stark, I have no doubt that there are people looking for you. Do you not want to see them again?"

"I won't build them what they want. I'm not giving them more of me. It seems they've collected enough." Tony laughed harshly. "My name is on every fucking thing they have, Yinsen. Never knew I had a stop point, but it turns out this cave, it's where I say no to building things that shouldn't be built."

"So don't." he replied. "But if you don't build something, they will make it far far worse on you." Yinsen smiled. "And if we are going to die, well I would prefer to have many along with me for the journey, wouldn't you?"

"Remind me to hire you if we get out of this."

"I have my resume in my coat pocket."

So Tony built and he was so close to something that maybe would have got them out of there, only it turned out, the guy in charge actually knew a little about mechanics. When they killed Yinsen, Tony really wished he had fought or hit them, something cool - like what that SHIELD guy might have done. Agent in the mediocre suit who Tony had been giving shit for the last few months, because he didn't need that kind of security. Instead Tony just collapsed to the ground.

Seemed someone had finally managed to shut him up. The guy should know there was a pool in the offices in Manhattan about that.

They dragged him out of the room and strung him up.

Tony knew pain. Hangovers, car crashes, ruptured appendix. The broken leg and the whipping from when he first got stuck in this cave, 5 days ago.

No, 5 weeks.

Or was it months since the ambush?

It was weird, it almost didn't hurt at first, his brain helpfully broke down the science of what happened to a body being struck with a cattle prod.

And then he screamed.

He was sure he was dead, with each bit of electricity coursing through him.

All he wanted to do was think of Pepper. That would be a good thought to die with.

Her leather day planner because she hated the Starkpad.

Her horrible brunette phase.

Her heels clattering on tile.

Her fingers when she checked if he had a fever.

Strange, what was that noise? Why did they stop? They hadn't stopped in so long, his body was still convulsing.

Her smile, the little one that she tried to hide, so as not to encourage him.

Why were they shooting in their own cave? His heart felt wrong, wrong thumps, too many, too slow, too something wrong.

Her eyes.

Someone stepped in front of him.

"Mr. Stark."

Tony managed to pick up his head a little. "Well shit, you aren't the hallucination I want when I die, Coulson. Make me see Pepper." Blood dribbled out of his mouth when he spoke. He wondered why Coulson's clothes had so many pockets, why there were so many weapons. Coulson was just show a paper pusher in a suit. He wasn't this...soldier. He didn't think. Thinking was hard. Thinking was never hard, even with booze or drugs. He was crying, when did that start? "I just want to see Pepper." He began to cough.

"I need a medic." Phil roared. He pulled out his phone and dialed quickly.

"Tony?" There she was, right hallucination. "Tony, please, say something." she begged.

"I know when your birthday is, I just like the game we play that I don't." Tony sank blissfully into the black, ignoring all the voices screaming at him to stay awake.

**********************************

The bag guys got decent beds, that was nice of them. Tony felt good too, that was new. Hmmm, pillow. He was never going to take pillows for granted again.

And that smell. 

He knew that smell. 

Under the hospital smell, the scent of lemon shampoo, and of pomegranate, and just the tiniest hint of smoke.

Pepper.

Wait, hospital. Tony opened his eyes. "Day moon, it burns." he whispered.

Pepper looked up. "Tony." She blinked rapidly and straightened her spine. But he watched her take a moment. Pepper never needed a moment. She nodded. "Sir, glad you are awake." She stood up and adjusted the blinds to make the room softer, less sun. She was beautiful. "You have created a great deal of work for me." 

That was his Pepper.

He looked around the room and there was Coulson in the corner in a suit, looking as boring as ever. "Agent."

"Stark, you were difficult to find. Do you know how many caves there are in Afghanistan?"

"Did you search each one?" Tony coughed, talking was tiring.

"Seems like it." Coulson smiled a little. "I don't lose a charge."

"How long?"

"Six weeks." Pepper said. "Rhodey never stopped looking, but he had more...restrictions on his abilities."

"SHIELD operates within the confines of international law." Coulson had that smile again. "Mostly."

"Babies." Tony said. "You were having babies."

"Clint and Natasha. They are a couple months now." 

"Go home. Go home to them. Get paternity leave or something." Tony tried to sit up but Pepper put a hand on his shoulder. "I have security, SHIELD can send others. Go play with babies." Tony was starting to breathe heavily.

"Tony, calm down." Pepper hit the button for the nurse.

"He needs to go, he can't...family has to matter...figured things out..." Tony could feel himself panicking, could feel his heart going faster, and was scared it was start to do the jumping that it did in the cave, but something, something wasn't letting it.

His brain and body tried to work together and the nurse and a doctor came in and kept telling him to calm down. Something was different, he couldn't get it. As the sedatives kicked in he heard, "the pacemaker is working."

Oh.

That was new.

****************************

He woke up again and Pepper was still there.

In jeans.

"You own jeans?"

"I do." Pepper sat up and Tony realized no day moon, real moon. "Several pairs."

"Haven't seen you in them since college."

"You don't see my down time a lot."

"You have down time?"

"Not a lot." Pepper looked at him. "Tony,"

"Pacemaker. I heard." Tony tried to shrug, act like it was no big deal. "Sorry, guess we have proof I have a heart after all."

Pepper laughed and it turned into a sob.

Tony reached out the hand that didn't have an i.v. in it. He didn't like to touch people really. Not when it was going to matter. Not when it might mean giving a piece of himself. But for her, for Pepper, he would try.

He would reach out.

"Pepper." He coughed. "Pepper I want to change it. I need to change it."

She wiped away her tears and composed herself. She reached for her leather planner, and was surprised that Tony didn't let go. She stopped reaching and just looked at him.

"What do you need to change Tony?"

He just looked at her. Her perfect eyes. "Everything." He squeezed her hand. "I need to change everything."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7 Years Later

"And that is how robotics changed the world." Tony concluded. He nodded and waited for the thunderous applause to begin, as it always did when he deigned to give a lecture to a classroom. He looked out at their small group and waited and there was still no clapping. He frowned. Didn't these people know that others paid thousands of dollars just to have him walk in the door? Okay maybe he rambled a little, had he rambled? No, he kept it to a tight hour. Wait wasn't supposed the talk supposed to be fifteen minutes. Finally the teacher started clapping. It woke up two of the students. Oh boy.

"How about, do we have any questions for Tony Stark?" The man said encouragingly.

A hand shot up. "Uncle Tony, didn't Auntie Pep Pep give you notes to read?" Clint smiled at him. "Because we're all pretty smart, but I think that was stuff for MIT. You were supposed to just tell us what working in a lab was like, or why you think robots are cool."

"Right." Tony blanched a little. "Robots are cool, because they help us, let us explore space, clean floors, be friends." Finally the kids were paying attention. Right Tony still had it. "I brought some robots that we can all program together." He opened the box and pulled out the small toys. There was a cheer and the class of 12 came to circle the table.

He remembered what Pepper had told him.  _These are children Tony, keep it simple, and fun. Clint and Tashie wanted you there, just talk to the whole group like you do them and you'll be fine_.

After all this time, he couldn't understand why he thought he knew better than Pepper. He wasn't as smart as everyone thought he was. He felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down and there was Tashie. He put his arm around her. "Hey little spider."

"You tried hard." she said as she snuggled him. "I know you don't do people well." Tashie then carefully pressed a  _you tried your best_ sticker to Tony's chest. "We'll take you for a reward happy meal after school."

"Thanks, Tashie." he sighed. "I bombed."

"The robots are cool."

"They are." Tony helped a kid make the dog do a back flip. Maybe he could salvage the talk.

"You'll do better next time." Clint promised. "We'll like tape Auntie Pep Pep's notes to your fingers or something."

"Next time?" Tony shuddered. He adored his godchildren but being around this many kids was freaking him out a little. There would be no next time.

Clint and Tashie smiled at him.

He knew there would be as many times as they wanted.

************************************

"You smell like chicken nuggets." Pepper smiled at him.

"I have a ninja turtle toy for you." He held it out to her.

"Awww Raphael my favourite." Pepper took the happy meal toy. "You know they do in fact have adult portions as well. Just because you get them happy meals, doesn't mean you have to have one too."

"But it comes in a box."

"You have sweet and sour sauce in your goatee."

"You love it."

"You know I like barbeque." Pepper handed him a file. "Sign everything that has a little purple tab that says SIGN ME with a cute little happy face on it."

Tony didn't read a single thing, just signed beside each and every tab. "Did I just sell you my soul?"

Pepper laughed and collected the papers. "You have a soul?"

"Oh that hurts, right in the pacemaker." He clutched his chest. He grabbed his phone and opened the app that monitored the machine. "See right there, that dip was caused by your cruelty."

"That dip, right there? You mean your regular heartbeat dip?" she smiled. "JARVIS is his heart behaving properly?"

"Yes, Virginia, Mr. Stark's heart is behaving and has not taken any dips. And Mr. Stark I might remind you, that you sold your soul away when you were 12 for that computer." The voice intoned from the speakers.

"Thank you, for your help."

"One is glad to be of service."

Pepper snorted a little and then kissed Tony's pout. "Do you want to know what was on those papers?"

"Is it anything I'd find interesting?"

"Bought some things, sold some things, gave away some money. Oh and agreed to be on Battle Bots."

Tony lit up. "You got me on Battle Bots?" He jumped up and down, just like Clint and Tashie. "I can bring Clint and Tashie right? Oh my god, we need uniforms. Pepper get us all uniforms. What are the rules on rockets? I'll be in the lab." Tony bolted for the elevator before he skidded to a stop and turned and hurried back to Pepper. He gave her a thorough kiss. "Best wife ever." He turned back already planning his build.

"JARVIS, you have all the rules for a robot for battle bots correct?"

"Yes ma'am, I'll monitor the build."

"Thank you." Pepper was pretty sure that Tony wouldn't go too crazy. Mostly sure. A little sure. She would check the insurance that the television show had.

The picture of Tony, Clint and Tashie and the smoking ruin of his battle bot took a place of pride on the mantle. Tony wore the uniform he had made for them all for a week.

****************************************

"Hey Pepper, can I have about half a million dollars?" Tony walked into their kitchen. "Good morning by the way." He looked at the window. "Oh good, it is morning."

"It's one morning later than you think it is." she said calmly while flipping through her planner. "You have a meeting today."

"I do?" He grabbed some coffee. "Have I slept?"

"No."

"Should I have an appointment then?" Tony gave her puppy eyes. She had been immune to them since she was 26.

"Your meeting is a lunch meeting. With me. In the office. That has been newly soundproofed." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "If you are late, I start without you." 

"You scheduled me in for lunch booty?" he grinned. "Seriously, how did I get this lucky?"

"I have no idea, Tony."

"There has to be an equation." Tony muttered. He grabbed his Starkpad and began to figure out if math could prove his luck. A few hours later JARVIS reminded him of his lunch meeting and he was almost on time. "Oh god, you were serious about starting without me."

"Close the door Tony."

"Yes ma'am."

****************************************

"Tony, wake up. Wake up right now!" He could feel Pepper shaking him, but that was wrong she wasn't in the caves. She had never been in the caves. Oh god had they got her? Tony began to fight, he had to get to Pepper, keep her safe. "Tony, wake up!" A gentle smack hit him.

He woke up gasping. "Pepper, get out of here, run! Don't let them -"

"Lights on 25% JARVIS." Pepper called out. "Tony you are in Manhattan. Baby, you are safe, Phil found you and brought you home to me. You are safe." she just kept repeating the date and the location and that he was safe, until he realized it was true.

Tony curled into Pepper, shudders slowing down. He could smell her, feel her fingers in his hair. "Don't let go. Just don't let go." He knew he was leaving bruises on her pale skin.

"Never have, never will." Pepper promised. "JARVIS?"

"His heart is fine, Virginia." there was a pause from the A.I. "Physically. I could call the counselor?"

"I'm fine, Mom, stop worrying." Tony mumbled against Pepper's skin. "You two take care of me fine."

Pepper looked up at the camera and smiled a little. A light blinked in return. 

*****************************************

Tony was standing on a table an ranting, raving. 

Phil and Melinda were having to restrain the kids from joining him. "No planning world domination." Phil admonished.

"But we could do it." Tashie protested. "We would let Uncle Tony take over the world and then Auntie Pep Pep and I would run it and everything would get fixed."

"To be fair, they probably could." Melinda offered.

"I already run enough of the world thank you." Pepper said as she brought dessert. She snapped. "Tony down."

He hopped down. "I had an idea."

"That involved world domination."

"With robots." Clint explained.

"No."

"But -"

"No," the three actual adults in the room said.

"Ugh, fine." Tony, Clint and Tashie replied.

"We're going to go have fun. You three stay here and be boring." Tony hustled the kids down to the labs.

"Okay that distracted them, they are too easy sometimes. Now what did you two need?" Tony asked once they were two floors down in Stark Tower.

"It's Dad's birthday. We need to make him a cool gift." Clint explained. "And maybe plan a party."

"We can absolutely do this." Tony promised. "But we'll take over the world when you guys are 10 right?"

"I feel we should wait until we're 16. World domination without being able to drive seems boring." Tashie said thoughtfully.

Tony nodded in agreement Tashie was as practical as her aunt. It was a good trait to have. He heard a thump and realized Clint had disappeared. He was hit with a Nerf dart from the vent 5 minutes later.

He loved these kids.

*************************

Tony stared at Nick and Rhodey and the joint report they had done. He could see the words but they didn't make sense.

"We got all the big weapons."

"We did Tony, but there is still a lot of the smaller stuff out there."

"And a group used it to bomb a hospital." Tony looked at them. "To send a message." Fuck he needed a drink. But he didn't do that anymore. No more hiding, no more erasing. "What do you need?"

"You." Rhodey explained. "You need to figure out how to hack the guidance systems on what they are using, see if we can't render all your smart weapons useless."

Tony nodded, "Anything. Any money, any resources, my time, whatever."

Rhodey put a hand on his shoulder and Tony shrugged it off. "This isn't your fault."

"Yeah, it is." Tony walked out of the office and down a few doors to where Phil was. He curled up on the couch in Phil's office and Phil moved over and read reports while rubbing Tony's back until Pepper could get there to make it better.

Doctors Without Borders stared at the 3 million dollar donation they received and then got to work.

***************************

Tony was working on blue prints for smart prosthetic limbs when JARVIS told him he had a call.

"Voice mail is a beautiful thing, buddy."

"This is their fifth call in two days."

"Transfer it to Pepper."

"I did sir, and then she transferred it back to you and suggested that you really should read the documents she puts in front of you."

"Answer the call then." Tony put his pad down. "Hello?"

"Mister Stark, this is Emily Wilson from the Big Brothers Big Sisters program here in New York."

Tony sighed, someone thanking him for a generous donation. Pepper fielded all those calls, he just gave affirmative noises as the woman went on and on.

"And it is just so exciting to find that we have a match for Bruce. He has been so difficult to find a partner for, but when your file was entered into the database, it pinged right away. When can we set up a meet for you and your new little brother?"

"Uh-huh, Pep schedules all the meetings I don't show up to." Tony said. His brain then helpfully supplied him with what the woman said. "Wait, what little brother?"

"Bruce Banner sir, he's nine, and I think you'll just be an incredible role model for him." She paused. "Are you laughing sir?"

"No, my computer is." Tony threw a pencil at a camera. 

JARVIS continued to laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Tony was sitting on the couch and had a drink in his hand. He was very careful about how much he drank these days and had a couple drinks a week at most, mostly for show at parties. He had been on the phone for an hour with the woman and she had emailed him both his profile and that of this child he was supposed to be a perfect match for. It had been pretty bare bones and that wouldn't do - Tony had learned never go into a new situation without all the possible intel. Phil taught him that; Afghanistan taught him that. He rubbed his pacemaker scar a little as he hacked various files and what he found there is what lead him to one glass of whiskey, two fingers, and three ice cubes.

He was still sitting there when Pepper came in with his favourite Chinese. "JARVIS suggested you needed the so bad they are good egg rolls."

"Why Pep?" She set down the bag and took off her suit jacket. "Why the hell would you set me up for the Big Brother's program?" Tony stood up and began to pace. "I mean, you are in charge and you never screw up. You're Pepper Potts, you never screw up a deal, a plan. So you had to have a plan for this, and I need to know what it was." Tony looked at her. "Because, I'm kind of waiting for someone to point and laugh at how I bought the prank."

Pepper poured herself a glass of wine. "I make plenty of mistakes Tony."

Tony snorted. "No you don't - I know four things are certain in this universe. 1: the universe is completely uncertain. 2: I can make any machine better. 3: I will always fuck something up. 4: You will never fuck up."

Pepper took a sip of wine. "That number 3 is still on your list negates number 4, Tony. Because after all this time, if I haven't convinced you how amazing you are, then definitely not doing my job."

"Hey, I know I'm amazing. I have the t-shirt."

"You think Anthony Stark billionaire, genius, philanthropist, is amazing. You think that Tony can never measure up to that image, and never see how much better than that you are."

"You love me, you have to think that."

"Tony, trust me, no one sees how shitty and how incredible you are, as I do." Pepper reached into the bag. "Eat a gross egg roll."

He flopped onto the couch and waited while Pepper put together a paper plate for him and put it on the table. Once she was working on her own plate he picked it up. "Okay, fine. But still why?"

"Because you donated a million dollars two years ago, to the program and as a part of the PR to help get more volunteers you signed up. Or well, I signed you up and made a quite lovely media release about it." Pepper ate her prawns, wincing at how garlicy they were.  Tony just mowed through the food. "And honestly? After never hearing from them again beyond your tax receipt, I may have sort of forgotten about it until the call came. Frankly I figured they'd either throw a random kid at you at the start for more press, or since I was honest about how mildly insane you are in your profile, they would bury it to never see the light of day." She smiled and leaned over to kiss him sharing her garlic breath. "So it was a fun surprise that I didn't want to ruin when they found a match."

"Pepper, this kid, I'm no good for him." Tony looked at her. "He's won the lottery for shitty origin story here."

"Tony, you aren't supposed to be his therapist, or fix every problem he has, you are just supposed to make him feel better for a few hours here and there. Make him see people care, be a friend." She put her plate down. "I can get you out of this."

"No, sounds like they told the kid already. He doesn't need a no show." Tony nodded. "Besides, I buy him a bunch of stuff, take him to a ballgame and it's all good." he looked at her. "I would imagine a few outings like that and we'll both go our separate ways, feeling better about the universe."

Pepper wisely decided not to say a word.

***************************************

"Clint what do nine year old boys like?" Tony asked. He had his hands inside DUMMY, determined to find the short that had the robot whistling all the damn time.

"I dunno." Clint said. His voice had that funny sound it sometimes had. "I'm seven."

"Sit upright, Clint. No upside down phone, you get dizzy." Tony admonished.

"Yes, Uncle Tony." Clint replied. "What nine year old?"

"I'm signed up to be a big brother to a nine year old, in like a week, so what do nine year old boys like?"

"I'm seven." Clint seemed stuck on that answer.

"Can't you extrapolate data from your own tastes and those that you see on the playground at school?"

"Wade is 9, he wants a grenade launcher, and a real live my little pony." Clint offered after a minute.

Tony paused in his work. "Is this a good friend for you?"

"Daddy was worried, but Mommy told him that Wade is just creative. And has ADHD. He's fine. We just keep him away from fire. And the stuffed animals. And chocolate. And -"

"Any other nine year olds?"

"Nope."

"Can you imagine yourself two years older, with a kind of shitty home life, and a complete stranger was matched to you via computer profile and bored workers, and wants to buy you stuff?" Tony sounded a little desperate.

Clint sniffled a little. "Daddy and Mommy wouldn't let me have a shitty home life. Who does that to their kid? Do you mean like he isn't allowed to watch cartoons? Because then you shouldn't buy him toys from shows that might make him sad because he can't watch them, or confused because he wouldn't know what they are from."

Tony smiled a little. "Don't ever change, Clint."

"Well I want to be taller and stronger so I can use a real bow."

"Okay, you can do that."

"Maybe a soccer ball?" Clint finally offered. "Generic go sports team clothes?"

"You think that would be a good first outing? I think I have a box for the Yankees, buy him all sorts of sports crap?"

"Would work for most nine year olds right?" Clint sounded a little doubtful. He really didn't know what normal kids did.

"Yeah, I got this." Tony nodded to himself. "Thanks Clint. I'll see you guys soon, right? Pepper said you are coming in for a sleepover."

"Yes!" Clint said happily. "You promised an indoor jungle gym."

"Of course, I never go back on my promises. You know that."

"Bye Uncle Tony." Clint hung up.

"JARVIS?" 

"Virgina has had a large room on the main level turned into an indoor playground sir. Employees of Stark Industries can bring children for free. It has been set up with the favourite apparatus of the twins." 

Tony sighed in relief. DUMMY copied the noise. Crap he needed to do more work.

***********************************

Tony walked into Phil's office at SHIELD without knocking. "How do I spend time with a messed up nine year old kid that I am supposed to be a hero too?"

Phil had been informed of his conversation with Clint, and Pepper had filled in the blanks at their weekly lunch. "Tony, aiming for hero is a little excessive isn't it?"

"Hey, if I am doing this, I am going to be super awesome at it. Now what do I say to him? I googled conversation starters with kids and have a list. Look at the list." Tony thrust a StarkPad at him.

Phil glanced at it. "Tony is this for kids, or for meeting the President? Because I don't think a kid is going to answer  _So how to we fix an unstable region when we caused a great deal of said instability in the first place_?"

"Oh. Right." Tony flicked the screen. "There. So, that latest Star Wars spoiler, that's just crazy huh?"

Phil pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just take the kid to a movie, buy popcorn, and ask how school is. Keep it simple Tony. And not you simple, actually simple."

"Sure." Tony smiled. "Great, I have to go."

Phil hit a button on his desk that locked the door. "No. Since you are here, we are going to talk about your upcoming business trip and how you will not recreate the big bang at the hadron collider."

"But they've been using it wrong. I can -"

"NO TONY!" Phil yelled.

They settled in to fight about the upcoming trip.

*************************************

Happy and Tony stared at the small house, with peeling paint. "Think maybe the limo was a bad idea boss?" Happy looked at the guys across the street, eyeing the car.

"This is the least ostentatious limo I have, Happy." Tony said. He looked at the door. "I am not touching anything out there. I have no idea when my last tetanus shot was."

"Sir, it will be fine."

"I know."

"Ballgame is in an hour."

Tony nodded. "Shouldn't he have come out?"

"Or, you could go knock on the door." Happy suggested.

But then the door opened and a small boy came out. "He's not nine, Clint is bigger."

"Children come in different sizes, Tony." But Happy thought he looked a little scrawny too. A woman stopped and tried to give the boy a hug, but he just shrugged it off.

"He looks clean at least." Tony muttered. He couldn't really see the boy's face.

"Tony, go say hello to the woman, she's sending her kid off with a stranger."

Tony looked confused. Howard had always just thrown him at anyone, never really even greeted them. Right, Tony remembered. Whatever Dad did - do the opposite. Pepper had that made into a sampler and it hung in his office. Tony got out of the car and walked up to the porch. "Hi, I'm Tony Stark. The Big Brothers program put us together."

The woman, a second cousin or some such, nodded a little relieved. "Hello. Bruce here has been so excited about this."

"No I haven't." Bruce muttered.

Tony stared down at the mop of curls and edge of glassed he could see.

"Sorry, kid, if this is taking time away from your friends. But it will be fun." Tony winced at how fake cheery his voice sounded.

"I don't have friends." Bruce looked at him.

Tony took in the split lip, the frames that were too loose on one side. He looked at the woman, who looked sad and a little defeated.

"He's only been with me a couple months, he's still adjusting." she explained.

Tony took in all the awkward body language and desperately wished Pepper was here. He clapped his hands. "Well, we're going to the Yankees game, today, that will be fun right?"

"Oh yes, just lovely." she said encouragingly and nudged Bruce. "Isn't that exciting Bruce?"

Bruce just shrugged.

Tony gave the woman a card. "My number. Feel free to call if you need to."

She nodded and went to hug Bruce again. He just stomped over to the car. Tony followed. It was a quiet drive to the stadium. "Want to meet players before or after the game?" Tony offered. "Easy for me to arrange."

"Why would I want to meet guys in funny socks who hit a ball with a stick?" Bruce asked. He pushed his glasses up.

Tony had no answer for that. They went to the Stark VIP box, which Tony had arranged to be filled with all sorts of souvenirs. "These are all for you to take home. Pretty sweet right?"

Bruce looked at all the swag and just shrugged. He settled into a seat and clutched his beat up bag tight. Tony settled a couple of seats apart, wanting to give the boy space. He tried a few different conversational openers and got mostly grunts in return. He even tried the Star Wars question and Bruce just looked at him. "Do you know how impossible the physics of a death star is?"

Tony glared. "Yes I do. In fact -"

Before he could finish, Happy came in with all sort of junk food. "Here you guys go." he said cheerfully.

"I'm vegetarian." Bruce said looking at the hot dogs. Happy just handed him the drenched in cheese nachos and kept the hot dogs.

Tony mouthed  _help me_.

Happy just shook his head and left them alone.

By the fourth inning, Bruce was reading a book and Tony worked on his StarkPad.

By the end of the game, Tony was praying for the cave he had been trapped in - at least time had moved more quickly there. Baseball was fucking boring.

Happy packed the gear Tony had bought into a couple bags and they all went to the car.

Bruce didn't say a word to him.

"So, do this again?" Tony said as they pulled up to the house.

Bruce looked at him. The kid had a more intense stare than all those at a senate committee combined.

"Isn't this once enough for your PR team?" Bruce asked.

"Not doing it for the PR." Tony said.

"Sure you are, I looked you up."

"Kid, these days, I have great PR." Tony answered. 

"People took our photo."

"I know, it happens. I'm not the exciting news I used to be - that whole not being a complete train wreck anymore helps but I'm still news." Tony looked at the bags. "At least you'll impress people with your new shit?" He winced, he didn't think he was supposed to swear in front of the kid.

"I'm mostly going to use it as currency to not get beat up."

"A smart plan."

"I'm smart." Bruce stuck out his chin. "Smarter than you. I'm always smarter than the adults around me."

Tony snorted. "Nice try kid. No one is smarter than me."

"If you are so smart, why did you arrange a crap outing that you knew you would hate?"

"Because little boys like sports." Tony answered.

"Do you know any kids?"

"Two and they are awesome."

"Do they like sports?"

"Well Tashie likes her Wushu training, and Clint likes archery." He thought about it. "They really hate team sports." he admitted. He sighed. "This is why I try not to leave my lab." He could see the woman standing on the porch. "I'll get the agency to find you a better match." He made a shooing motion. 

But Bruce who had been holding the door latch looked at him. "You have a lab? Like at a school?"

"No, in my home. Well technically it is the floor below my home. Pepper insists no explosions in our actual apartment."

"You have a room for a lab? At your home." he sounded doubtful, but intrigued.

"No. I have a whole floor as my lab."

Bruce looked at him, it was a look Tony didn't quite understand, but it was happier than anything else he had seen on the kid that day. "Wanna see?" Tony offered.

Bruce nodded furiously.

"Next weekend then?" Tony asked. "No wait, crap I have to go to Bern and a couple other places. I'll call you when I'm back."

Bruce's smile faded. "Right sure." He grabbed the bags and opened the door.

"I'll call. Promise." Tony shouted after him.

"Whatever." Bruce trudged up the steps.

Tony made a note on every devise on him. Told JARVIS, Pepper, and Phil.

He wouldn't forget to make the call.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Tony didn't mean to be gone a month, but things kept coming up in Europe. There was a conference and meetings and deals and maybe testing a few cars. Phil had abandoned him at week 3 when it was clear Tony was taking a couple days for fun. He was switched off to a different, far less fun bodyguard. He came home in one piece, no bruises, several contracts for Pepper to go over, and a few gifts beside. 

He walked into the Penthouse, just as Pepper was walking out. "Hey babe, miss me?"

"Yes." she said simply and kept walking. 

Tony realized she was in a beautiful dress. "Where are you going?"

"Charity dinner. It was on your calendar. You promised to be home for it." She looked at him and slid a wrap over her shoulders. 

"And I am home." Tony grinned. "Give me five."

"No, I am sure you are tired from your travels and I've arranged an alternate date." She opened the door. "Rhodey always a pleasure. And don't you look handsome." 

Rhodey was in a tux instead of a uniform and kissed Pepper's hand. "And you are a gorgeous creature as always."

Tony wasn't a bit jealous. "Take good video if you bump uglies." he said cheerfully and waved at them.

Pepper came over and kissed Tony's cheek. "You are the only ugly I bump with, and you damn well know it. There are leftovers in the fridge - eat before you go down to the lab. I'm going to be late, you know what a good dancer Rhodey is." 

"I'm a good dancer." Tony shouted after her. 

"No you aren't!"

Two hours later, Pepper received a message - it was a video of Tony doing a soft shoe with the robots. She laughed out loud, right in the middle of the speeches.

******************************

The next day they were having breakfast together and Pepper was sighing at Tony's receipts. "Well, I suppose this is actually restrained for you, especially considering Phil came home and left you with a junior bodyguard for the last few days." Pepper sipped her coffee. "We going to talk about what you were running from?"

"Wasn't running from anything. I don't think? Hold on." Tony hummed a little as he thought. "Nope, just got a little distracted."

"Oh good. How many distractions tried to sneak into your lonely room?" she teased.

Tony laughed. "None, apparently word has gotten out that I am indeed yours, and playboy Tony is dead, long live adult Tony."

"Yes the penises drawn on the mirror were very mature." Pepper finished with the receipts. "Okay nothing has to go back, you can keep all the toys, especially since you brought me a couple interesting contracts." She leaned over and kissed him. "My Tony." 

He smiled at her. "I'm a good boy." he winked.

"You are, that's why you are going to keep that promise to that child from the Big Brother's program, to show him your lab." she looked at him, knowing damn well what he had been avoiding.

"Of course I will."

"Breaking a promise to him is like breaking a promise to Clint and Tashie."

"It isn't. They are family." Tony protested. "I met him once and he hated it."

"And you said he was interested in the lab." Pepper replied. "You asked me to remind you, so I am reminding you."

"He was just faking interest."

"Was he?" Pepper gave Tony another kiss. "We don't break promises to children. Because you know what that sort of dismissal feels like. And it sucks."

Tony nodded. "Can you arrange him to come? You know I how I am on the phone."

"I will."

3 days later, Tony was down in the lab, and Pepper answered the door. "Hello. You must be Karen." She looked down, "Hello Bruce. I'm Pepper Potts-Stark, Tony's wife." 

They both stared at her tense, terrified of the fancy building. Karen kept smoothing her dress. Bruce just scowled. 

"Would you like some tea and cookies? Or would you like to go right away to the lab, Bruce?"

"Is there really a lab here?" Bruce asked. "Or is it just a chemistry set for children?"

"Bruce." his cousin hissed at him. "You be nice."

Pepper just smiled. "Oh, I like you."

That just seemed to make Bruce scowl some more.

Pepper just ignored that. "Now Tony has rules for the lab, but those," Pepper shuddered a little, "are not really rules. I have actual rules. 1: safety is actually a thing and you will strive for it. 2: if the explosion requires more than the robots or JARVIS to solve then you are grounded. 3: you take actual scientific notes so that you can recreate anything that proves interesting - you don't just rely on JARVIS."

"Who's Jarvis?" Bruce asked.

"I am Master Banner, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." 

Karen jumped at the voice that came from the speakers. Bruce just pushed up his glasses. "A servant speaking through a central comm system?" Bruce tilted his head and tilted, looking for speakers.

"JARVIS is an artificial intelligence that Tony decided about a decade ago. And speaking of that, please sign these Non-Disclosure Agreements, saying that you will not talk about anything you see or hear while visiting." Pepper stood there with a StarkPad open to the standard contract. Karen signed utterly terrified.

"AI isn't developed enough yet, there's that stupid computer that won Jeopardy, but it didn't pass the Turing test. I don't like science pranks."

"Hey science pranks are awesome," Tony said coming in the door. He was filthy and Pepper just sighed. "We agreed you would make a good impression?"

"No, you agreed. I decided to build you a better -"

"Nope, whatever follows that sentence, I don't know, I don't want to know, just no, nothing better." Pepper said quickly.

"Fitz would like it." Tony muttered.

"Then you can give it to Fitz."

"Then he'll think I'm flirting again." Tony whined.

"Not my fault you said you wished you could crack open his head and poke at him like an engine and he thought it was romantic. I am not having a repeat of the dishwasher issue."

Bruce watched the bickering and kept inching towards his cousin. He just heard the cranky voices and couldn't see the smiles in their eyes. His cousin wrapped an arm around him and coughed to get their attention. She flinched when Tony and Pepper turned and looked at her, annoyed they had been interrupted. Tony glanced down at Bruce. He swallowed at the fear on Bruce's face. 

Tony crouched down, but stayed a good few feet away. "Sorry, Bruce. Pepper and I have been together since the dawn of time and slide into patterns without realizing it."

Bruce nodded, "I'm not scared, I'm not a baby."

"Of course not, I don't allow babies in the lab." Pepper snorted a little. "Oh come on Clint and Tashie were one and a half before they were allowed in." Tony began muttering about safety measure that curtailed the progress of man.

"Bruce, you need to sign the agreement too." Pepper held out her pad and Bruce looked at them both and moved close enough to sign. He stepped back a little.

"Now my final lab rule is this. 5: have fun."

"You forgot number 4." Bruce looked at her. "Did he just marry you because you are pretty, because apparently counting is difficult for you."

Karen paled and then flushed. "BRUCE!" she yelled. That boy was getting no dessert now.

"32 x 68 Pep." Tony said looking at his nails.

"2,176." Pepper smiled. "I'm just fine with numbers. And rule 4 is this: if there is anyone else in a lab with Tony Stark, I assume they and not he are the adult and will act accordingly." 

"Hey." Tony protested but Bruce actually giggled at that so he didn't bitch about it. "You have his gift?"

Bruce looked at him. "More baseball stuff, because that was pretty good currency I didn't get beat up for the whole month."

Karen looked so devastated by this and Pepper went over. "Let's get you some tea. Tony the gift is by the lab doors." Tony pointed Bruce to the door and off they went. "JARVIS please monitor at a Coulson level."

"Yes, Virginia." 

"Thank you. Now let us get you a relaxing hour." Pepper guided the woman to the living room and made small talk.

**********************************

Bruce stared. "You weren't joking." He looked at the glass doors and windows. "The whole floor is a lab."

"Yup. Basement in the house in Malibu is also, but we don't spend as much time there anymore. It's my before life. I like the tower here."

"It's ostentatious to name your tower after yourself."

"My money, my design, my name." Tony said. "You want in, or you want to mouth off a little more?"

Bruce was quivering. "I want in."

"Yeah well you can't until you have the stuff."

"What stuff?"

"The stuff Pepper bought you." Tony pointed to a box by the door. "And look, if you don't like it, just play cool? She went to a lot of effort to pull that together and make sure to say thank you and that you liked it, okay?" 

Bruce looked at Tony. "You really like her."

Tony looked at him. "You'll understand when you are older."

"Love is stupid and gets you hurt."

"One day I'll tell you the story of how love saved my sanity in a very dark place."

"That sounds like a shitty country song from the 70s." but Bruce's eye kept going to the box.

"Don't swear." Tony got bored and opened the lid. Bruce didn't say anything. "Well?"

"I can't trade that at school."

"Well no, I don't imagine a lot of kids need a monogrammed lab coat. Remember, you tell her you like it, or I'll find a way to shave your head in your sleep."

Bruce pulled out the lab coat. A real live science lab coat. With his name on it. Right there B. Banner, stitched in. He put it on quickly and frowned as the sleeves were a little long. He was happy when Tony rolled them a bit without saying a word. He looked into the box and saw safety goggles, a journal, and a pencil case that had a protractor set, pens, pencils, erasers, and a scientific calculator. "Where did she find a pencil case that has Albert Einstein on it?"

Tony shrugged not mentioning, most of the stuff was made custom for him.

"Ready to science? I have coke and mentos."

"That's not science, that's a parlour trick." Bruce complained. He watched Tony scan his hand and the doors slide open. They walked in and Bruce paused. "Why is that robot shaking?"

"Oh for the love of...DUMM-E, I was going to introduce you, relax." Tony looked at the robot and then to Bruce. "Sorry he loves kids. Come on over then. DUMM-E meet Bruce. Bruce meet DUMM-E."

The robot made a couple of noises and held out its hand. Bruce reached out and pet it. "Hello?"

The robot spun in a circle and knocked a beaker over in its excitement. "Okay buddy, back to your corner, Bruce and I need to science." DUMM-E slid away.

"He looks sad." Bruce watched the robot. "Can't he science with us?"

"Treat him like a learning impaired dog, he was one of my first robots, not that bright. You can play fetch with him later."

"But you keep him. Why not scrap him down?" Bruce was surprised by the complete shock on Tony's face.

"He's family." Tony explained like it was obvious.

That really confused Bruce. "Can we make something?" People were so confusing. Science wasn't. Science was simple. He understood science.  Science didn't hit or scream or tell him he was small and worthless. It was just data to explore and manipulate. He realized he hadn't been paying attention and turned back to Tony. The guy was looking at him funny. "What?" Bruce asked. It was almost the social worker look, but not quite.

Tony just nodded. "Yeah kid, let's science." Tony point to a table he had set up with children's experiments. 

Bruce sneered at them. "Kid's toys."

"Well you are a kid, and just because I've seen your school records, doesn't mean I won't test the data myself. I want to see what you do so I can extrapolate better for your next visit."

Bruce was confused. "Next visit?" This was a one time thing, since the first time had been so stupid. He knew the guy wanted to prove he could get it right and then they would all move on. "You didn't call for almost five weeks. Why would you want a second time?"

Tony winced. "I was away on business." Tony fiddled with a beaker. "And thought maybe you weren't serious about being interested in the lab."

"You're stupid."

"So my bodyguard regularly tells me." 

"I'm always serious about science." Bruce promised.

"Well then, show me." Tony pointed at the table and Bruce got to work.

*********************************

Upstairs they heard a muffled bump and the floor shook just a little.

"What was that?" Karen looked around worried.

"Level 1, maybe level 2 explosion." Pepper said serenely. "No use worrying until it reaches at least a 6."

Karen looked at Pepper. "You are crazier than him." It was said with a mix of fear, respect, and awe.

Pepper just handed her the plate of cookies.

*********************************

Bruce couldn't stop giggling, it had been awesome. Tony's reaction was the best.

"JARVIS a little help here."

"How do you expect me to help sir?" 

"Your AI sounds kind of bitchy." Bruce giggled some more. He got to make a thing go boom. On purpose. No one ever let him do that.

"Yeah well, I tried to make him compliant and this is what happened. Never model an AI after a person, they end up becoming like that person." Tony grabbed a rag and scrubbed at Bruce. "DAMMIT JARVIS HOW DO I DE-GREEN A CHILD?" Tony shouted. "His cousin will never let him come back to play, if he stays green."

"Might I suggest a shower? In the decontamination chamber your wife insisted on, that you said was a superfluous safety measure?"

"Right, right." Tony hauled Bruce up and tried not to think about how small he was for 9. He threw him into the shower. "Strip down and scrub up."

"See? Peppers safety gifts helped." Bruce said. He threw clothes out the heavy hazmat curtain. Tony saw how threadbare it all was. "Clothes can be okay, and my glasses too. How do I turn this on?" Before Tony could say, Bruce figured it out. "So we made things go boom." Bruce giggled. "There was a boom. And a whoosh and oh my god can we do it again? Can I really come back to play with you?"

Tony's hear felt funny. He pulled out his phone and checked his pacemaker. "All systems functioning normally, sir." JARVIS said quietly. Tony flipped him off.

Bruce was silent in the shower. "Or, I mean this was fun. It's okay. I didn't mean to take up space. Never mind."

Fuck, Tony could remember saying similar as a kid. "No kid, just checking my calendar. Next weekend, you could come on by."

"I won't make a mess." And oh that voice was small.

"Not science if there isn't a little bit of a mess." Tony felt a nudge at his back and there was DUMM-E with a towel. "Are you de-greened?"

"I think so, the water is running clear."

"Here then." Tony passed the towel over and then the clothes when Bruce asked for them.

"Okay?"

"Skin is. Hair still has a bit of a tint."

"How come you didn't get green?" Bruce pouted.

"Because I've screwed up enough to guess when I should duck under a table."

"Why didn't you pull me under too then?"

"Because you need to learn those instincts. Don't want to get hit with any rays, or beams, or shit like that." Tony smiled. "Science is a dangerous lover."

"I'm 9, can Science be my dangerous best friend?"

"That works. Come on, need to return you to your family." 

They walked to the elevator and just as the doors opened Bruce whispered, "This was fun."

Tony nodded, it had been.


	5. Chapter 5

"Tony, stop." Pepper didn't look up from her book. "He'll be here. I'm sure there was traffic or something."

Tony was pacing. "He's 20 minutes late, Pep. He's never been late."

"Never is three times Tony. Bruce has been brought by his cousin three times."

"And three is enough to establish a baseline patter they have arrive anywhere from 5 minutes early to 3 minutes late. That woman knows subway lines and bus stops very well." Tony countered and went back to pacing. "This is statistically anomalous."

"Or if you looked at the news, you'd know there was a huge traffic jam, due to an accident, right on the bus line they take."

"How do you know that?" Tony stopped at glared at her. "You've been reading about Count Broody lips seducing the shy heiress, who has secret desires."

"No, Tony. That was the last book. This one has a fiery Scottish lass who needs an English lord to tame her wild ways." Pepper grinned. "The cover sort of looks like us." She held it up and Tony looked. 

"My chest is not like that."

"No, suppose not." Pepper sighed though, brain kicking around some enjoyable fantasies. "Would you like to here about how she didn't want his kisses to matter but they warmed her soul and soothed her temper until she sank into his arms in blissful surrender."

Tony flopped on the couch curious. "Have I ever made you sink in blissful surrender?"

"Does me going down on you while you build a robot count?"

"Never seen you on your knees and not completely in charge." Tony winked.

"Clever boy." Pepper leaned over and kissed him. "They'll be here soon. Play the new puzzle game I downloaded onto your StarkPad for you and let me read about him plundering her secret treasures."

"An English lord, plundering? How bold." Tony picked up his pad and tried to distract himself. At forty minutes late though, he gave up all pretense. He called the woman's cell phone and left a message asking where they were which Pepper cut off before he got too asshole-ish. She knew he was scared.

"Jarvis is travel still delayed on the route they take?"

"No Virginia, things are moving again. With the delays, we can likely expect their arrival any minute now."

Only another 30 minutes passed with no sign of them. "Fuck it they bailed." Tony glared out the window.

"Tony, I'm sure there is a reason." Pepper ran a hand down his back. 

"I'm going to the lab. Leave me alone for a while okay?" Tony walked to the elevator. "Shit, I have everything set up for him. I'm going down to the garage to muck with that Vette I'm rebuilding."

Pepper waited until he was gone. "JARVIS please call Ms Banner's number." Like Tony she got no answer and her voice mail was terse to say the least. She began to reorganize the kitchen, an odd habit but it always relieved her stress. 

25 minutes later, JARVIS spoke up. "Virginia, the front desk is calling. It seems you all have a visitor."

"On screen." JARVIS pulled up a camera and Pepper looked. There was Bruce, looking sad and pretty banged up. "Tell them to send him up to me."

"Should I inform Tony of young Bruce's arrival?"

"No, I'll sort this JARVIS."

"Very good, Virginia." JARVIS was quiet for a moment. "The band aids that the twins gifted Tony are in his medicine cabinet."

Pepper nodded and went to wait by the elevator. When it opened, her heart just broke. "Oh Bruce." she knelt down. "What happened sweetie?"

"I'm not a baby." he said, even as his lip quivered a little. "And I never got scared."

"Of course you didn't." Pepper agreed. "A clever boy like you can think a situation through, but sometimes unknown parameters occur."

He nodded. "My bag broke. We can't afford a new one." he tried to wipe his tears away but it just made his glasses dirty. Dirtier.

"We can."

"No." Bruce yelled, suddenly incredibly angry. "No. No more stuff. Every time we come here, my cousin leaves with a bag of stuff and I have new clothes or random gifts, and just you make it hard when you give me stuff because it either gets me beat up, or makes me realize how outside of two hours here every weekend everything in my life sucks and that is mean. Do you know how mean that is?" Bruce was just shouting. He threw the bag with the broken strap to the ground and kicked it. "You guys with your happy life, and money, and stupid smiles, and caring - you need to stop that right now! Stop pretending that I matter. Just," he was shaking, the rage dying down as quickly as it came. "Just let me do science with Tony and that's it. Just, two hours of pure investigation and beakers and numbers and..." he sniffled again. "Just the lab yeah?"

Pepper nodded. "You can't go to the lab with scrapes though. Let me at least clean up your hands and call for Tony, okay? Then you can science it up to the max."

"That sounded really lame."

"It did, I know." Pepper smiled. "Come on, Tony's bathroom is full of fix a person's booboos supplies."

"Babies call them booboos."

"Tony calls them booboos."

"My point stands." Bruce replied.

Pepper snorted a little. "Just try to remember you are 9, not 39 sometimes okay?"

"If I was 39 people would hurt me less." Bruce said as he sat on the edge of the tub.

Pepper opened the cabinet and pulled out the band aids and some sterile wipes. "No sweetie, they just hurt you in different ways." she crouched and started to clean Bruce up. "What happened?"

"My aunt had to work and promised to be home in time to bring me, but someone didn't come in and we could use the money. Only I didn't have your number and when I called, someone told me they'd get my message to you on Monday." Bruce looked at her. "I had a commitment to science though." he said it so solemnly and it made Pepper both sad and happy at the same time. "I knew the route, same one the last three times we came, so I thought I could do it myself." he stared at his toes. "The subway was a little scarier than I thought it would be. And then the bus got late and I thought I could walk, make better time, but I miscalculated the distance and then a guy on a phone didn't see me and I got pushed down hard."

"Hence the scrapes and broken strap." Pepper said. Bruce nodded. "Now then the important question: Hello Kitty or Star Wars?" she held up the two boxes.

"Death Stars are stupid physics. And gun ships wouldn't actually go pew pew in space."

"I get enough of that from Tony, and it didn't stop him from trying to build a working lightsaber." But Pepper put a couple Hello Kitty band aids on his hands. "There, Clint bought these for Tony."

"Who's Clint?"

"Clint and Tashie are our godchildren. We thought maybe you'd like to meet them one day, they science with Tony sometimes too."

"If he has other people to science with, why is he doing it with me?" Bruce asked confused.

"Because they do it because they love him, you do it because you love science and that makes him happy." Pepper looked at him. "May I kiss your wounds better?"

"That's a myth."

"Placebo effect." Pepper countered.

"Interesting." Bruce thought about it. "Kiss the one better so I can see if it feels any better than the other one."

"Of course." Pepper said seriously. She kissed the one scraped palm. "There, let's get you a glass of juice and I'll call Tony."

"I can just go to the lab." Pepper was making Bruce feel all warm and he didn't know what to do with that, he wanted the safety of a microscope.

"He's down in the garage." Pepper thought about it. "There should be some snacks there. JARVIS inform him that we are coming down and the circumstances of the late arrival." Pepper guided Bruce back to the elevator and picked up his bag with the torn shoulder strap. They went down into the bowels of Stark Tower where the bottom level of the garage was for Tony's cars. She rolled her eyes at the music and walked over to the stereo and turned it down. "That is way too loud for you, let alone growing ears."

Tony looked over at them. In an instant he took in the scrapes and worry on Bruce. "Not in the mood for science anymore today, kid."

Bruce felt his shoulders slump a little. "Oh, I get it. I'm sorry I messed up your schedule."

"How do you feel about mechanics?" Tony asked quickly.

"I dunno." Bruce shrugged.

"Well, I'm rebuilding this engine here and you have tiny fingers that should come in handy." Tony offered casually.

Bruce walked over curious. "How do you do that?" 

"Pep, we need building music!" Tony shouted and started to explain tools to Bruce.

Pepper grinned and put on the Stones at a reasonable volume. She saw thread and needles for upholstery and some duct tape and grabbed them and sat in the corner. She could fix this.

Two hours later the guys were finishing up and Bruce was even filthier than when he came in but was happy.

"Okay we can do more mechanics. I still like chemistry and other stuff more, but maybe this and robotics could be cool." Bruce admitted. He looked at the clock. "Oh crap, my cousin is gonna be so mad."

"I called her to inform her where you were and that you would be given an appropriate ride home." Pepper said. "But she is cross about you leaving without a note or message."

Bruce pouted a bit. "Buck up." Tony said. "Pick one of the cars and I'll drive you home. Next Saturday we'll get back to your style of science. Been consulting some guys I know about stuff that would amuse you."

Bruce looked at him. "Who do you know?"

"Some dudes from MIT, NASA, and you know stuff." Tony waved a hand. "Nerds, not as cool as me."

"You aren't cool." Bruce said confounded. 

Pepper decided to interrupt. "Bruce, your bag all fixed up. And I put our personal number in there, in case any problems arose." Pepper held it out pleased that the strap was attached again.

Bruce stared at the uneven stitches and could see the exact moment she gave up and finished with safety pins and duct tape. Bruce opened his mouth and Tony gave him a quick glare. Right, Tony didn't like Pepper upset. "Thanks, Pepper, it's good."

Pepper smiled happily. "Tony break no more than 3 laws getting him home."

"Yes ma'am." Tony gave her a snappy salute. "Now which ride do you want to go in Bruce?"

Bruce looked around at the 2 dozen cars. "That one." he pointed.

Tony glanced at the seafoam Cadillac. "You got good taste kid." Vintage cars were a new thing. In the before times it had all been the newest the best. But these days, he liked the idea of repairing old machines, making them run smooth. He didn't need a shrink to know why.

"So, you okay?" Tony asked as they settled in.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Bruce said. "I didn't want to miss this. I've gotten used to it."

"It'd had only been three times Bruce."

"Three times is enough to establish a baseline pattern."

Tony slid on a pair of sunglasses and gave a spare set to Bruce. "Yeah, it totally is." Tony revved it and gunned the car out of the garage.

Pepper didn't need to know about the ticket he got.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mr. Stark knows he doesn't have to send a car for you every Saturday, doesn't he?" she fretted.

"He doesn't want the incident to happen again." Bruce said. He picked up the brand new backpack and put it over his shoulder. He had held back a couple pieces of baseball stuff and did some homework for some 14 year olds and had managed to pull together some money and his cousin had taken him to a couple different second hand shops and he had found a pretty decent back pack. An adult one, not a stupid kid one with characters on the outside, just nice plain black. "Plus, this way you actually get to enjoy your Saturdays."

"I enjoy you, Bruce." she said quietly.

This made him pause. She was the fourth relative he had been pawned off to and he had mostly thought she was okay, that at least she didn't hit or call him names. But he didn't think she actually cared. He looked at her carefully. "You like me? Like spending time with me? No one does."

"I don't understand you, I admit. You are so much smarter than me, I barely finished high school. But yes, I like you Bruce, I just want you to be happy." she smiled sadly. "Go do your science."

Bruce for the first time, initiated a hug. "When I get back, I could tell you about it?"

"That would be wonderful." The last three Saturdays he had just run to his bedroom and poured over his notes.

"Okay, then. Bye." Bruce gave her an extra squeeze and ran for the SUV outside. "Happy! Do you know what we're working on today."

Happy helped him into the back. Tony and Pepper had been trying to fatten the kid up a little on the Saturdays, but he was freaking tiny for his age. "You know I ignore that crap." he said just to bug Bruce.

Sure enough Bruce gasped. "It isn't crap! Last week we -" Bruce kept up a running commentary the whole time to Stark tower. "Lab or garage today?" he finally wound down to ask.

"Garage. Tony's been asked to return to Battlebots for a celebrity charity battle, he'll go against one of those Mythbuster guys, so he's working on prototypes."

"Huh. Could be interesting I suppose." Bruce shrugged. He was slowly getting more interested in mechanics and building. Tony made it fun.

"Plus you get to meet Clint and Tashie. You'll like them a lot." Happy grinned, he knew the twins would take to Bruce right away and he had a feeling that Bruce needed some friends.

"Those are his godchildren."

"Yup. They are a couple years younger than you, but should be able to keep up just fine." Happy pulled into his spot and helped Bruce out. "Go on, go upstairs to say hi to Pepper and then come on down to the garage."

"But that doesn't make sense, because what I'm going to be doing is down here" Bruce said. "Just through there. I could go up after."

"What are Tony's rules?"

"If you haven't created a bit of controlled chaos in your day, you've wasted it?" Bruce answered. "And really I've been doing some research because by its nature chaos can't be controlled, it's chaos."

Happy held up a hand, knowing to stop Bruce before he really got going. "And his other rule?"

"What Pepper wants, Pepper gets and Pepper wants a nice hello, so Pepper gets a nice hello." Bruce sighed. "I wanna blow stuff up."

"And being nice to Pepper is what lets you and Tony blow stuff up." Happy reminded him. "She pays the bills."

"Isn't it Tony's money?"

"You really want to trust Tony with billions of dollars?" Happy asked as they stood in the elevator.

"He ordered a corner store to deliver two hundred twix bars."

"Exactly." Soon enough they were up at the penthouse and Happy pushed Bruce forward before heading to the kitchen.

"Hi Pepper." Bruce said shyly. He hadn't told her, but his notes and study had shown that the scrape that had been kissed healed at a tiny fraction of time better than the one that hadn't been kissed. "You're dirty!" He said shocked. "And in jeans!" He didn't know she owned anything but suits.

"I am. Phil and Melinda are helping me repaint my office while all of you play with killer robots." Pepper came over and smiled. "Green, sort of like that shade that Tony accidentally turned you that one time. Come on and take a look and say hello to our friends and then you can go play." Bruce followed Pepper through the halls to her office where everything was covered in drop cloths and a woman was holding a man at paint brush point. He had his arms up in surrender. Bruce rolled his eyes, more dopey adults in love.

"Phil, Melinda, this is Bruce Banner, Tony's little brother." Pepper said. Bruce looked at her, the way she made it sound like an actual family connection instead of a charity program. He didn't know if that made him happy or angry. "Bruce this is Phil Coulson and Melinda May-Coulson. Phil is the director of SHIELD and Tony's bodyguard when he travels, and Melinda is the librarian at a private school for gifted children."

"That was a lot of needless exposition." Bruce said. "And why does Tony need a bodyguard?"

Phil snorted. "You have met him right?" Melinda gave him a dirty look.

"Hello Bruce," she said in her smooth voice. "And I think Pepper told you all that, so you would know you are safe with us."

"Why because you are a cuddly children's librarian?"

Melinda crouched to make them more eye level. "They call me the book monster at the school, I'm murder on late books." she grinned. "Let me guess, you have a chemistry book that is one...no two weeks overdue don't you?"

Bruce gulped. "How did you do that?"

"I know all when it comes to books, it is my superpower."

"Superpowers aren't real."

"Little ones are." Phil countered. "Melinda knowing when someone has overdue books, Pepper's ability to keep Tony sane, my ability to know when someone is trying to be naughty, Tony's ability with robotics - everyone has tiny superpowers. You just need to figure yours out."

Bruce squinted at him. "You're weird."

Pepper stifled a laugh. "Thank you for coming to say hello Bruce." she smoothed a hand over his hair, pulling the curls back a little. She had started to do that two weeks ago. He didn't like being touched much, but he liked this. "Remember no more than a level 3 explosion."

"Yes ma'am." Bruce left the adults alone and hurried to the elevator anxious to see Tony. Only when he put in his personal code to go into Tony's garage (and he still couldn't believe he had his own code), he started to shout a hello, but paused. Tony's head was bent over some blueprints and there were two kids sitting on the table. The three were in matching sweatshirts and Tony and the girl were arguing and the boy was doodling on the page. It was the boy who noticed him first.

It made Bruce uncomfortable. "What are you looking at?" he said, shoulders hunched up.

"Why hasn't Uncle Tony fixed your glasses?" the boy asked. "He fixes everything you know. He made my bike really cool. Hi I'm Clint and I'm seven and I'm sorry I told Uncle Tony to take you to baseball, I didn't know you were a science freak like him when I suggested it."

Bruce only pulled one word out of all that and curled into himself, ready to be pushed or kicked. He hoped his new bag wasn't hurt. "I'm not a freak." he whispered. His head was down and he didn't notice the other three go still, Tashie giving Tony a sharp look, or how Clint's chin wobbled a bit at upsetting someone.

Clint walked over to Bruce. "I'm a freak too, if that helps." 

"No you aren't."

"I am. I have really scary eyes that can see everything and really freaky co-ordination. People don't like sports with me, I win too much. And Tashie's a freak too. She speaks five languages and knows how to kill someone with a paperclip."

"No I don't Mama is keeping that a secret until I'm 10. I could do it with shoelaces though." Tashie called out.

Bruce looked at Clint and relaxed just a little. But not too much, he knew better than to trust other kids, they always ended up mean. He then looked at the sweatshirt. It was clearly from their last battlebot meetup but it had tape on it. "What's that?"

"Your name." Clint looked down at his shirt. "Isn't it? Don't you know your name?"

"I know my name, it's my name." Bruce scowled. "But why is it there?"

Tony finally spoke up. "Pepper ordered us new shirts, but they haven't come in yet, they have your name proper on them. But until then, all the universes problems can be fixed with a sharpie and duct tape." He waved Bruce over. "Now you can explain to Clint why a robot that shoots arrows is a bad idea."

"An arrow robot would be so cool." Clint said as he climbed back onto the table. "It's the juxt...jusix...aww words, no."

"Juxtaposition?" Bruce asked as he approached the table. He waited for the comment making fun of him for knowing.

"Yeah that!" Clint said cheerfully. "Wouldn't it be cool?" He waited for someone to agree with him.

"Aren't projectiles against the rules?" Tashie was scrolling on a pad.

"Yeah." Tony said with a pout. "I checked, they really tightened up some of the loopholes. I mean we were told being a celebrity match if we made things go boom a little bit more it would be okay but you know, no flying shit."

Bruce was finally at the table and looked at the blueprint. "What about when it is close, something sharp came up and out, and stabbed the other machine. It could be arrow shaped." he suggested. Clint gasped and quivered on the table. Bruce had no idea what to do when the boy sort of half dropped off the table and gave him an upside down hug. He looked at Tony but Tony was busy sketching on an over sheet that Tashie was holding down. He pushed the younger boy away. "No hugs."

"Oh, like Tashie and her no kisses. Okay. Body autonomy is important. I'm sorry I did that without permission." Clint said.

Bruce now really had no idea what to do. No one apologized to him ever. "You're as weird as your dad."

"Thank you!" Clint looked around and saw DUMM-E in the corner and climbed off the table. "I'm gonna play catch while they plan. Sometimes Auntie Pep Pep hangs out and we do our nails while those two plan. I'm better at action than planning. Especially on things. I'm better with people than them. But yeah, I'll help once we can build. You want to play catch too?"

"No, I like planning." Bruce waited to see what the odd boy would say next.

"Okay, but you can interrupt anytime. Oh and I don't mind hugs or friendly shoulder punches, or anything like that. You don't have to ask first." Clint smiled. "I'm missing an incisor, see? Tooth fairy left me two dollars."

"The tooth fairy isn't real." Bruce then winced, that was probably mean to say.

"Oh I know that, but it is a game we play, can Dad or Mommy get the money under my pillow without me noticing. I notice I would get an extra dollar. But Mommy is sneaky and got the money under. Or maybe it was Dad, he's pretty tricksy too, have to be to be a super spy."

"Dad isn't a super spy Clint." Tashie said. Bruce turned sharply to look at her, she had somehow gotten off the table and beside Bruce without him noticing. "He's in charge and takes care of Uncle Tony."

"He rescued Uncle Tony when even Rhodey couldn't find Tony, that equals super spy." Clint protested. "And what about the thing in Beijing, or Barcelona, or another place that starts with B, or how come every time he says he isn't a super spy Uncle Nick says he's the superest spy ever?" Clint was ticking off each point on his fingers. "And he has at least 3 weapons on him at all times."

"He only has his tazer and knife today." Tashie countered.

"Because Uncle Tony hates guns."

"I really do."

"Didn't you used to build guns, it was on your wikipedia." Bruce broke into the very odd conversation. He watched Tony's hands clench into fists and instinctively took a couple steps back. He didn't even notice Clint moved a little in front of him. "I'm sorry." Bruce said quickly, still staring at the fists. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he kept repeating.

Tony relaxed his hands. "It's nothing. You are right, I used to build weapons, and now I don't. In fact today I build a battlebot."

"It's okay." Clint promised Bruce. "Wanna come play catch?"

Bruce shook his head no. Clint nodded and ran down to DUMM-E who was spinning in joy at playing with a child. Bruce kept his distance while Tony and Tashie finished up the plans. He eventually edged closer but kept the table between he and Tony. He finally joined in the conversation when when Tashie asked if acid was an option. 

"Probaby not, but what about a release of a mix of fine particles and materials to clog up the gears of the other bot?" Bruce asked. 

"Hmmm." Tony made some more notes. Twenty minutes later, they were ready to work on the prototype. "Yo Clint, time to play!" Tony shouted. Bruce looked over and saw that DUMM-E's claw was holding Clint upside down and Clint was giggling.

"He likes upside down." Tashie explained. "And high up. He takes gymnastics, while I do dance."

Bruce nodded. After school activities wasn't a thing he had ever done. 

"I also do Wushu, he does boxing, which is weird because he's learning archery and you would think he'd want a fighting technique that protected his hands more, but Dad punches a lot, and I think he wants to fight like Dad. I want to fight like Mama. She used to be nationally ranked you know. She's like a superhero level fighter."

"I thought her superpower was knowing when people had overdue books." Bruce looked at Tashie. "And why are you two being friendly? People aren't friendly to me."

"That is her superpower, but she also could be a superhero, if she wanted. And we don't have a lot of friends. More than we used to, but still mostly each other, so we get it."

Bruce scowled. "You don't get it, you don't get it at all."

"Okay. But Uncle Tony likes you, so we figured we probably would too and acted accordingly. Don't be mean to Clint, or I'll hurt you."

"Tony likes me?"

"Of course he does." Tashie looked at Bruce as if he was stupid. "You wouldn't be in here if he didn't like you. This is for family and close friends only."

Tony had finished setting up the tools. He heard everything but decided not to interfere, see how Bruce did with the twins. He figured they would either all get along or hate each other. He supposed this feeling each other out was working okay. "Come on, let's build the shit out of this thing!"

The three kids surrounded Tony and got to work.

Two hours later the other three came in with trays. "Food break." Pepper called and Tony looked up.

"Sweet, happy meals." Tony cleaned off a table and sat down. Pepper kissed his head and put a happy meal in front of him. Clint and Tashie sat and got their happy meals and Pepper looked at Bruce, holding out a box. "I got you nuggets? Figured it was the safe bet. I'm sorry if you feel too old for a happy meal."

Bruce could remember having had exactly 4 happy meals in his life. "That's cool, I don't mind." Pepper handed him the box. Pepper, Phil, and Melinda had regular meals. Bruce sat beside Tony and watched the other three take out their toys.

Tashie tossed her my little pony to Clint who gave her his Transformer.

"Oh come on I want Optimus Prime." Tony pouted and Tashie rolled her eyes and exchanged with Tony. Bruce looked at his robot and saw Tashie eyeing it. He had no idea who any of them were.

"We could switch too." Bruce offered and held out the toy. Tashie smiled and they did the exchange. They all talked about the bot while eating their food. Bruce looked around the table. It looked like a family meal. He remembered his mom trying to do family meals, and his dad yelling about the food and the one Thanksgiving where he threw a turkey out the window.

These people were all laughing and liked each other.

And Bruce was in the middle of it, like he was one of them.

But he wasn't. Not really. He was charity.

"I need to go home." Bruce said abruptly. He grabbed his bag. "Happy needs to take me home right now."

Everyone looked at him in surprise and Tony recovered first. He knew that scared look on Bruce's face. He used to react this way too, when Phil had first started inviting him over for dinners with Audrey and the babies. "Yeah, okay Bruce, I'll call Happy. You go wait by the SUV."

Bruce hurried to the other end of the garage, and ignored Clint's shouts of "Bye Bruce, we can play date sometime!"

Happy was there a couple minutes later and drove him home in silence.

Bruce slammed into the house and threw his bag against the wall. He almost threw the toy that he had forgotten he was clutching, but stopped at the last minute.

"Bruce?" his cousin approached carefully. "Bruce did something go wrong?"

He nodded yes, but then shook his head no.

"Want some tea? That cinnamon you like?"

"Yeah." Bruce followed her to the kitchen. They waited for the kettle.

"What happened?"

"His godchildren were there."

She winced. "And you ended up feeling left out?" she didn't care that he was Tony Stark, she would yell at him, if he upset Bruce.

"I think they wanted to be my friends." Bruce held up the cheap plastic toy. "Pepper bought me a happy meal. We traded toys."

"And that is confusing to you."

Bruce nodded. "People don't like me, I'm not likable."

Her eyes filled. "I think you are very likable." She got him his tea. "How about you tell me about them."

"Tashie is scary and Clint is a puppy. And we built a robot."

"That sounds like fun."

Bruce moved the toys arms up and down. "Maybe they were pretending to like me to make Tony happy."

"Or, maybe they just liked you darling."

"Because I'm likable."

"Yes."

"The data suggests that is wrong. Dad didn't like me, the other aunts and uncles didn't like me, Grandpa didn't like me. The teachers and my classmates hate me." Bruce looked at her. "How come Tony and Pepper and these kids can like me but my family doesn't?"

She wasn't going to cry, she wasn't. "I don't know, sweetie. But I do, and I always will."

"The data suggests that's a lie."

"Just you watch. I'm a variable your data isn't expecting. And so are Tony and all his people."

"I need to adjust my charts."

"You go do that. Remember to bring your cup down when you finish."

Bruce started to leave. "I'm really likable?"

"You are lovable."

"I need to do research." was all he said and he left to try to figure all of this out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Clint.

Bruce wasn't mad. He wasn't. He was a big kid, he understood that adults had responsibilities. Just because the last month he had had Saturdays with Tony, did not mean the guy didn't have to work sometimes. It was fine. He poked at his junior microscope that his cousin had found on craigslist and worked 3 overtime shifts to get for him. The glass was fogged in a corner and the arms didn't hold slides down great, but he loved it. No one in family since his mom had encouraged him like this. He was examining a drop of kool aid. When he heard a kid shout bye through his open window. The tiny street was loud and he didn't think anything of it. Only then there was furious knocking on his door.

Bruce went downstairs and moved the curtain at the side window. He was very confused. He opened the main door but didn't unlock the screen door. "Clint?" he hadn't seen the boy since they had built the bot together.

"Hi Bruce." Clint waved furiously and he had a backpack at his feet. "I'm here for our play date."

"We don't have a play date." Bruce was sure he'd remember that. His first play date would be a thing to remember. Plus he was like way too old for a play date.

"Remember when we met, I said we could have one. And Tony is away giving a talk at the thing and I thought you might be lonely. Dad is with him, and Mommy and Tashie went to a big Wushu thing today as a treat, so I had our nanny bring me here. She'll pick me up in two and a half hours, she's meeting a couple friends for coffee." Clint smiled. "I brought action figures. And a couple books. I figured you would have the science toys covered. Because we could do science if you want I don't mind." Clint smiled happily.

"How did you find me?" Bruce asked. He still didn't open the door. "Did Tony tell you?" he was sure he'd be mad if Tony was just sending people to his house.

"Nu-uh. That would be a breach of your privacy. I put a tracker in your bag so I could find you." Clint bounced on his toes. "You can be the good guy action figures."

Bruce blinked. He wondered if this was a joke. "You tracked me."

"It's what I do when I decided to keep people. How do I get to keep you if I don't know where you are?" Clint asked seriously.

"And you are keeping me." Bruce had no idea what to do with that. No one kept him.

"Well, I think so?" Clint shrugged. "It's what the play date will confirm. I've never kept a friend before. I kept a Skye, and a Mommy, but Wade kept me, so I figured I should try keeping a friend too."

"I can't let you in." Bruce wasn't sure if the rule made him happy or sad right now. "My cousin says that when I'm home alone, I can only let in emergency workers."

Clint sat on the porch and dug through his backpack. "I have one of Dad's old lanyards. He's in security, would having that let me come in?" Clint cheered when he pulled the badge out. "It's from when he was a handler and not director. I play spy with it."

"I think she means firemen or police officers."

"I think I have one of General Grandpa's medals in here too? He gave it to me for a gymnastics meet to be brave." Clint looked up at Bruce. "Could you come out to the porch to play?"

"Supposed to stay inside unless there is an emergency." Bruce shrugged. "We could talk through the door." he sort of didn't want Clint to go away.

Clint sat there and Bruce actually heard him say  _think think think_. And then Clint smiled. "Loophole. You could open a window."

"Doesn't that feel like cheating?" Bruce paused. "But if a window is already open...but it's on the second floor."

"Not a problem!" Clint put on his backpack and disappeared off the worn porch. Bruce ran up to his bedroom and five minutes later there was Clint. "I shimmy good." he tossed Bruce his backpack and then came in through the window. "Hello." Clint waved.

Bruce sort of waved back. "Hi." he wondered what he was supposed to do. "I have kool aid and can have 3 cookies. They are homemade."

"Awesome." Clint grinned.

"Could you take the tracker out of my bag. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Is it like the hug thing?"

Bruce just nodded and handed his bag over.

Clint took out the tracker. "Sorry." he looked worried. "Does this mean you don't want to be friends?"

"I dunno. We could maybe try?" Bruce looked around his bare room. "I don't know what to do."

"Well what were you doing?"

"Studying the scientific properties of kool aid."

"Did you want to finish?"

"Yes." Bruce admitted. "But wouldn't that be rude?"

"Nah, I surprised you. You can finish and I'll set up the toys I brought so we can play when you are done your notes. Can I talk to you while you science?"

"Why do all of you use the word science like that?"

"Like what?" Clint began to pull out toys.

"Like it is a big word, a living word."

"Because that's how Uncle Tony uses it." Clint said easily. "Go science and I'll tell you about how Wade and I got detention this week. It was totally an accident." Clint started to babble and Bruce let the noise wash over him as he went back to his microscope. It was weird, his cousin generally left him alone when he was in his room. And when he was with Tony it was all about whatever project they were doing that week. This was just someone who wanted to be around Bruce. Hang out. He didn't get it.

"Clint?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"Why you are here. People don't like me."

"Uncle Tony and Auntie Pep Pep like you." Clint looked at him. "He talks about you a lot when he comes over to play. He said he wished he could bring you over to our house." Clint gasped. "Now that we are friends, do you want to come for a sleepover? We could sleep in the treehouse Uncle Tony and Rhodey and Dad built. Oh, but it doesn't have science. I can fix that before you come over."

"I don't have friends, I just get beat up for being poor, and abandoned, and a nerd." Bruce looked at him. "If you were my age, you'd probably beat me up too. It's just because you're littler that you think I'm a friend."

Clint scowled at him. "Bigger than you." he muttered. "And I don't have friends either. Except Wade and he's insane. In a good way. A mostly good way. Okay in a he's 70% harmless sort of way. I have him and Tashie. Kids at our school don't beat each other up, because we're all 'gifted' so you know nerd on nerd love. But doesn't mean we're all buddy friends. Tashie and I didn't have a mom and we were sort of not...I like painting my nails, and Tashie performs autopsies on any barbie she's bought. She and Uncle Tony are going to take over the world, I'll help. She speaks her mind in too many languages and I disappear into ventilation systems. We know weird. We like weird."

"You have a mom, I met her."

"Melinda isn't our birth mom. We found her a couple years ago and made her and Dad fall in love. Our mom died when we were one. We don't remember her, but Dad plays us her music and we have photos of her. She was tiny and played a huge cello." Clint sat on the ground and clutched a Captain America. "I can call Skye to get me early."

Bruce slid off his chair and onto the ground. He was used to making people upset but he didn't often care about fixing it. "I remember my mom. She died when I was four."

"Was she sick? Or was it an accident like Mom 1?"

Bruce shook his head. He picked up an action figure and examined it closely. "Dad was mean. And angry and then one day he got too mean. He's in jail and isn't allowed to see me."

Clint scooted a little closer and had his action figure sort of hug Bruce's. "If he ever breaks out, my dad can kick his ass. And I bet Tony would design something to protect you and keep him away."

"Your dad kind of seems a little nerdy." Bruce let the two toys hug. It was nice.

"Ha!" Clint reached for his backpack and pulled out his StarkPad. "Look at this." he pulled up youtube and showed the video of his dad in the gas station. "Every time he gets the video taken down, Uncle Tony gets it back up." Clint looked at the time. "Ooh, Uncle Tony's speech might be streaming." He hit the icon on the pad that was dedicated to Tony Stark news. "He's at a conference about non lethal weaponry."

Sure enough there was Tony talking. Bruce watched him. "He's wearing a suit." He hadn't seen Tony in one since that first baseball game.

"Yeah he wears them when he has to be TONY STARK." Clint explained. "It's like a superhero costume. When he has to be important, the genius billionaire inventor, instead of just Tony." Clint pointed. "There's Dad." Phil was just in the background constantly scanning the crowd. "Some crackpot was sending mean letters to Uncle Tony. Dad is keeping a closer eye than usual." Tony finished up his speech and there was a lot of applause and then someone in the crowd starting shouting  _coward_.

"Why would someone do that?" Bruce asked. He pulled the data pad away from Clint.

"Dad said there are lots of people that don't like that Uncle Tony stopped making weapons." Clint pointed. "See Dad is sending the security in closer. Uncle Tony is probably about to do something Dad doesn't like." 

Sure enough Tony stepped closer to the mic. "Sorry, if you wanted to talk there is that charity meet and greet for veterans later. Buy a ticket and we can have a nice chat." There was some awkward laughter and Phil had moved to directly beside Tony.

The guy in the crowd started to rant and say all sorts of things to Tony about him being a coward and anti-American and not respecting soldiers. Someone tried to stop the guy but Tony said, "No let him finish." But this stumped the guy who had been raving. "Oh, guess you are done then. Okay. My turn. I am absolutely a coward. My guy Phil here former army ranger, he's taken a bullet meant for my head. My hetero lifemate Colonel Rhodes braver man than I could be or comprehend. The men who died during my capture? Fuck yeah they make me look like a coward. When I was captured and tortured I cried and begged and when I got home I changed everything about Stark Industries because I was scared of guns and grenades and what they do. Other companies took my place easily enough. I saw everything I had built and it fucking terrified me and I'm rich enough and selfish enough to change what I make. I know make prosthetics and pacemakers, and home security systems, and try to give Apple a run for their money. Because when I see a gun, it makes me sick, that it could be one I made. Once you've seen something you designed to kill in the hands of a 15 year old, and you don't know which of you is more terrified...well you make choices." Tony swallowed. "Does that help you any?"

The guy in the crowd just nodded dumbly, and Tony thanked everyone for listening and walked off the stage. 

Clint pointed. "See Dad has him, he'll be giving him a hug after. Uncle Tony will want a drink and Dad will say no. Auntie Pep Pep will call and make it better too."

Bruce shut the pad down. "What capture?"

"It's on Uncle Tony's wikipedia."

"Not really. No details. Just things went wrong and and then the army found him and he changed his businesses."

"Army didn't. Dad did. Dad killed a lot of people who hurt Tony. Uncle Nick said Dad was impressive and if he had still been military he'd have lots of medals." Clint played with a couple action figures. "Don't know a lot. Bad guys had Uncle Tony for weeks. He wouldn't make them weapons. They hurt him. His heart beats funny now. He has one of them, a pacemaker, he designed an app to help keep track. He gives them away now, the cost of a pacemaker is totally free. And he gives lots other stuff to soldiers too." Clint looked at Bruce. "He doesn't like to talk about it. He and Auntie Pep Pep sleep over lots and babysit and stuff. He sometimes has bad dreams. They make him cry. Hugs help, he said."

"Oh." Bruce made a note to research pacemakers, he wasn't quite sure what they did. "Is there something we should do?"

"Like what?" Clint asked.

"I dunno, is there something that we could do that would make him happy?" Bruce frowned. "He looked sad."

Clint smiled. "He likes robots. And things that go boom. And Auntie Pep Pep."

Bruce thought about it. "Want to break some rules?"

Clint grinned. "Yeah we're going to be friends forever. I'm keeping your forever."

"You can't be sure of that. That is not a quantifiable thing."

"Nah, keeping you." Clint nodded and held out his finger. "What about an E.T. touch? Is that cool?"

"E.T. is gross."

Clint rolled his eyes and held up a finger. "Just roll with it science boy." Bruce nodded and pressed his finger against Clint's.

******************************

Tony was sitting in his hotel room trying to get up the energy to go to the meet and greet. Phil came in. "You might want to look at a video on YouTube."

"Cats or Star Trek mash up?" Tony asked.

"The sort of video that I'm pretty sure means my kid is currently getting grounded." Phil put his pad on the table and Tony clicked play. Clint's face filled the screen. "Hi Uncle Tony, I'm best friend's with Bruce now and we thought we would do science to make you happy." Clint stepped behind the camera and moved it to show a tiny backyard with cracked stones and weeds and a card table.

"This isn't science, it's a parlour trick." Bruce said. He was in his lab coat and safety goggles hair sticking straight up. He sort of waved at the camera. "Sorry Tony, I didn't do this before. But I'm doing it now." Bruce took a breath. "Cascade pattern first attempt in three, two, one." Bruce tugged a cord and Tony watched as the mentos dropped into the diet coke in a sequence and the pop exploded all over Bruce. Clint giggled and ran forward soaking himself and the camera. Bruce was laughing and the two boys were just a wreck, jumping and dancing in the pop.

"Oh my god, what have you done!" was heard in the background.

Bruce's face filled the camera, "Totally worth the trouble I'm in. Not science, but pretty neat. Bye." the camera went black.

Phil looked at Tony. "It's okay."

Tony was having difficulties swallowing. He rubbed a hand over the scars hidden under his shirt. "What is?"

"Realizing just how deep your love for a child can go, that there is no bottom. Feels overwhelming, but you'll get used to it."

"He made a mess and laughed." Tony looked at Phil. "He did silly kid science to make me happy." he thought of the video. "He and Clint are friends. He has a friend." Tony looked at Phil. "What's going on?"

"Your heart is keeping him."

"Keeping people is what your family does."

"And you're family, so by extension not so difficult to believe that maybe you would keep people too." Phil smiled. "20 minutes Tony." he left the man alone.

Tony watched the video 5 more times.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is going to be a lot of texting

T: I'm booooooored.

B: Go play with your cars.

T: Pepper has me out at a gallery.

B: So leave.

T: She wants to be here. Boooooored. And it is all abstract stuff.

B: Tell her you are bored.

T: I did and she stepped on me and said she had did a thing which did a thing and this was her reward.

B: It's bedtime, I have to go.

T: Don't leeeeave me.

B: Grow up.

T: You grow up.

B: I will I turn 10 next month.

T: ...

B: No.

T: But come on, I had a great idea.

B: Go buy Pepper a painting.

T: Boooooooored

B: I'm going to read a Goosebumps book and go to sleep.

T: Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored :(

T: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored :(

T: oooh pigs in a blanket.

T: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored :S

***************************************

C: Uncle Tony do you think Bruce likes purple?

T: how would I know?

C: well you guys are brothers, Tashie knows all my favourites.

T: That is the name of the charity, you remember he's not actually my brother right?

C: ....

C: So does he like purple?

T: I don't know, why can't you ask him?

C: But then how would it be a surprise? Although I suppose save the date cards don't really have to be a surprise.

T: Are you throwing him a birthday party?

C: No it's for our wedding when we grow up. 

C: IT'S HIS BIRTHDAY!!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!!!!! I DON'T HAVE THE TREEHOUSE STOCKED WITH SCIENCE YET!!!! HE WON'T BE MY HAPPY EVER AFTER IF I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN HIS BIRTHDAY IS

T: I'm calling your dad

C: I'm never going to be as good a husband as you or dad. He'll leave me for someone that has beakers at hand all the time. UNCLE TONY I NEED BEAKERS.

T: Yup, calling your dad right now

******************************************

B: Tony, can we split atoms in your lab?

20 minutes later

T: Pepper says no

B: Try buying her a nice coffee

40 minutes later

T: Pepper still says no

B: You bought the wrong coffee didn't you

T: ...

T: no

40 minutes later

T: right coffee. still said no.

B: bummer

T: we'll work on the battle bot

B: K, and just ignore my split lip okay?

********************************************

P: My son is having a party planning related meltdown. Is there anything you would care to share Tony?

T: I'm building a metal robot suit that I can fly around in and shoot energy beams at bad guys in

P: Nice try, real explanation

T: I could do it

P: I know you could

T: Actually that isn't a bad idea. I could hook JARVIS in and paint it red

P: I'm telling Pepper.

T: You're no fun

P: I never was. Now once again, before I drive into Manhattan, please tell me why my son is trying to be all Martha Stewart? He asked Melinda to take him to a party store. Melinda, balloons, streamers. I am going to be suffering and I will take you down with me.

T: Bruce's birthday is in three weeks. 

P: I'm sure his cousin has something planned, with his school friends.

T: He doesn't have school friends. He had a split lip last I saw him. 

P: Tony

T: I asked what his best birthday was and he said the one where he was just forgotten.

P: We're all coming into the city tonight. We'll fix this. 

T: You're a good man Charlie Brown

P: No building a red flying suit

T: Killjoy

P: I will taze your flat ass

T: I have a lovely bottom

P: Not according to your wife.

**************************************************

T: But why not?

Pep: I'm in a meeting

T: But why not?

Pep: With the board of directors

T: But why not?

Pep: Tony, if you want money leave me alone

T: But why not?

Pep: One more text and I don't do the thing with my tongue for a month

"My apologies for the distractions, I was just consulting Tony about an important aspect to this deal. Let us continue."

T: But why not?

Pep: Because a 10 year old no matter how smart does not need you to buy the house next door to his and turn it into a lab as a birthday gift. It is excessive and will cause a great deal of problems for him.

T: But why not?

Pep: No tongue thing for a month and you are coming to the next board meeting.

************************************************

T: Ms Lewis, your fees are interesting.

D: My fees are reasonable for my kick ass photos

T: Perhaps

D: You know my work is solid, you've hired me like 4 times since I did Phil and Melinda's wedding. Including that one photo shoot with your wife that I'm never supposed to talk about.

T: So see you on the 10th then

D: Damn right. Can't wait to see what you do for a kid's birthday party

************************************************

M: Tony call your godson and tell him he doesn't need to wear a suit to impress Bruce at the party

T: Is he wearing the Dolce suit

M: His Tom Ford. Also, he stole test tubes from the science lab. Said it was a betrothal gift.

T: Did he remember to steal the stand too, because test tubes without a stand aren't that useful

M: So we are just okay with a 7 year old stealing science equipment for the wedding he is planning when he is all grown up - like 12 or so. They will live in the treehouse, because new couples need their privacy.

T: Sure, it's cute.

M: Can to try that again, I think you typed the wrong thing didn't you?

T: I'll tell Clint stealing is wrong. 

T: Please don't kill me Melinda

T: I'll also tell him to dress casually for the party

T: Does their school need a nice donation?

T: Melinda?

T: Right, I'll make sure Pepper has my will in order

****************************************************

T: Do you like chocolate?

B: Why?

T: Just answer the damn question

B: But like in general, as an object for study, a food item, how it is sourced?

T: oh for. do you like chocolate cake?

B: Why?

T: Because it is your birthday in a week and Pepper bought you a gift and wants to have a small cake ordered for after we science. And you will indulge her.

B: Karen is making me cupcakes I don't need extra.

T: What is the rule?

B: What Pepper wants Pepper gets because then we get to blow stuff up without her making too many sad faces

T: So chocolate cake?

B: I like vanilla with chocolate frosting that way you get 2 fun flavours

T: Okay good

B: Did she really get me a birthday gift?

T: Yes and it is cool.

B: See you Saturday then

****************************************

C: Uncle Tony are you sure I shouldn't wear a suit?

T: It's 1am

C: Not like you are asleep

T: Yes but you should be

C: But suit

T: Save it for when you propose

C: Oh good idea!

T: I have them

C: Will he like my gift. Mommy made me give back the test tubes.

T: I am sure he will

C: I want him to like me

T: He likes you Clint. You are pretty great

C: But

T: If we are going to have this conversation how about you coming down to the lab

C: I need to sneak past the room Mommy and Dad have. Give me five minutes.

T: Sure

C: And then you can explain adult tickle time in the shower. I think it is more than tickles isn't it? I need to be able to do it right for when Bruce and I are married

"SIR, YOUR HEART RATE HAS GONE ERRATIC. I AM CONTACTING YOUR WIFE AND THE HOSPITAL." JARVIS's voice screamed through the lab.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine." Tony sat on his bench and tried not to panic.

Tashie looked up from her blanket nest. "Clint asked you about tickle time didn't he?"

Tony nodded and pulled up the app to check on his pacemaker.

"Mama and Skye had a sex talk with me 6 months ago. We agreed to keep Clint's innocence in place." Tashie went back to her book.

T: PHIL YOUR SON WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT TICKLE TIME

P: askfdfdlkffadj

T: Wake up and tell me what to do

P: You'll figure it out

T: No I am not explaining sex to your son

P: You've slept with more guys than I have

T: Two

P: I have zero so you win. 

T:  I am not prepared for this

P: Welcome to parenting. You are never prepared.

T: He's not my kid

P: Think of it as punishment for the fact that my kids are awake and in the lab with you at 1am

T: Technically Clint is only getting in now

P: Have fun Tony

****************************************************

Bruce sat in the middle of the room and didn't understand. They were supposed to science and then Pepper would give him some sort of gift and they would all have a slice of cake. Instead the living room had balloons and happy birthday signs. There was a cheerful girl taking photos and Tony was bouncing around from too much sugar and there was music and a huge pile of gifts. Karen was talking to that colonel guy that was Tony's friend and Pepper was chatting with Clint and Tashie's parents. The nanny was buzzing around making sure there was tons of food.

"Aren't there supposed to be more kids at a kid's birthday party?"

"Yeah but you don't like other kids." Tashie said beside him.

"They don't like me."

"See, so no other kids." Tashie shrugged. "Plus Pepper made sure Tony didn't go nuts. You wouldn't like nuts."

"I wouldn't." Bruce agreed. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is he doing all this?"

"Nice birthday parties are what you do for family." Tashie said like it was obvious. 

"Family forget you, or hurt you, or -"

Tashie smiled at him. "You have a new family now. We only hurt the bad guys."

Clint came running over, dragging a bag behind him. "This is your birthday gift from me. I picked it out and even paid a little. Mommy helped me pay for the rest. But I picked it." he thrust the bag at Bruce. "Open open open open."

Bruce opened the bag and pulled out the blanket that had the periodic table on it.

"Now you can wrap yourself in science to keep warm when you do science!" Clint shouted. Bruce didn't say anything. "Did I get the wrong thing?"

Bruce shook his head, the blanket was soft and perfect. He held up one figure and Clint pressed his finger against it.

Tony glared at Darcy. "Don't worry I got the photo." she said calmly.

*******************************************

B: Tony?

T: Yeah kid?

B: It was my best day ever

T: Good

B: I mean it. I did the data at home. It was the best day of my life.

 


	9. Chapter 9

"Tony I can call and cancel." Pepper watched him pace across the table. He hadn't had more than three naps in the last few days. He was starting to reach his breaking point, and she knew he didn't want Bruce to see that.

"I'm fine, just been working on a few ideas."

"You've worked yourself sick." Pepper was sitting in a chair and as he walked by on the table she put out a hand on his ankle. "Canceling one meeting with Bruce doesn't make you Howard."

Tony glared at her. "Yes because you know so much about childhood disappointment. The time your father brought home the wrong Barbie from a business trip must have been devastating."

Pepper kept the hand on his ankle. "Are you done?"

Tony looked at her. "Uh, no. I'm going to the lab. Think I finally cracked the problem. Send Bruce along when he gets here."

"Tony." she rubbed her thumb on his ankle bone. "It's okay."

"I know it's okay." Tony hopped down. "I'm always okay. I'm better than okay. I'm A-OK." He stalked off to the elevator.

"JARVIS, monitor him at the Coulson-Fury level please."

"Of course, Virginia." The A.I. paused. "I would recommend that Bruce not go to the lab today."

"I know." Pepper agreed. "But Tony will be worse if we don't have him over. He relies on these Saturdays as much as Bruce."

"Sir hasn't gone out on a Saturday in months."

"No, he hasn't." Pepper looked around the room. "JARVIS, pull a selection of movies you think Bruce will like."

"Yes, ma'am."

Pepper went to the linen closet and pulled out blankets and extra pillows and became to set up a huge nest in the living room. She went to the kitchen and made popcorn and a few other snacks. She brought them into the living room and heard the elevator ding.

"Hi Pepper, bye Pepper!" Bruce called from inside, already pushing the button to go down to the lab.

"JARVIS." she said as she walked over. She watched Bruce keep hitting the button but the elevator didn't move. "Bruce how about you come to the living room?"

"How come?" Bruce clutched his backpack and glared at her. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"Of course you didn't, but we need to have a talk."

"You can't get rid of me!" he yelled. 

Pepper blinked at him, confused.

"I'm keeping Tony, and I don't care if you are jealous or mean or stupid about science and can't play with us. I'm keeping Tony!" Bruce was screaming and he came charging out of the elevator and pushed her a little but he was so small for his age it barely moved Pepper. But the kick at her shin hurt a fair bit. "I'm not going away. I'm keeping the lab and JARVIS yelling about protocol and Tony being nice and and and and, why are you sending me away?" Bruce started to sob. "I want to stay."

Pepper's heart hurt, but it had been hurting for days. "I'm going to hug you Bruce, is that okay?" she asked as she sank to her knees.

"No."

"Okay." she stayed crouched down. "Can I rub your hair? Or I can do that touch you and Clint do."

"No that is special for me and Clint." Bruce wiped his nose on his sleeve. "You could do the hair thing."

Pepper ran a gentle hand over his messy curls. "What has you so scared, sweet boy?"

"You said talk. That is what everyone always says before they send me away. And I figured you guys are so busy, you'd eventually get tired of me taking Tony's time away from you. I know Big Brother stuff isn't supposed to be every week I looked it up. And you don't science so I figured eventually you'd make us stop." Bruce looked at her. "Why would you want me to stay?"

She smoothed the curls again. "Because you are sweet, and smart, and make Tony happy. You make me happy too, you know."

"We don't hang out much."

"No, but JARVIS shows me footage from the labs. Do you know you have this smile when you create a chemical reaction, it lights up the room. I took a freeze frame of you and Tony, it is just before something exploded. You both have goggles on and look like mad scientist and are just filled with such joy. It is in my private office." she looked at him. "I do need to talk to you, but it isn't about asking you to leave. Bruce, I promise you, that you and I might need to have many conversations, because loving Tony takes a lot of work, but none of those conversations will ever be about you leaving."

"Really?"

"Really. I'll even sign a contract with witnesses to that effect."

"The hand you kissed better did heal at a 2% quicker rate than the other one." Bruce told her. He sniffled again. "I'm sorry I kicked you."

"It's okay, I'm stronger than I look. Also, Bruce, you kind of suck at fighting. Do you want Phil and Melinda to teach you better moves?"

"That could be good, might help with the bullies." 

Pepper and Tony had agreed to stay out of his school situation at Karen's insistence, that them being involved would likely make it worse, but Pepper was just about ready to burn the place down. Tony wasn't the only one who could make things go boom. "Now can we go to the living room?"

Bruce nodded and they settled into the nest she built on the floor. She handed him a cookie. "What do you know about PTSD, Bruce?"

He nibbled the edge. "PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Your brain becomes altered due to -"

"Okay, so you know the WebMD definition." Pepper smiled.

"I looked it up after Clint told me about the kidnapping."

"Tony was missing for five weeks."

"Did you think he was dead?"

"People told me too, but I knew he wasn't." Pepper said with a sad smile. "I had to believe he would come back to annoy me, to admit he might be dead would have crippled me and I had to take care of his empire. For him. They had him for weeks and they hurt him."

"He has a pacemaker. He designed it after he burned his standard medical grade one out. Tony -"

Pepper interrupted what was probably going to be a long discussion on specs. "There's more sweet boy." Bruce watched her carefully. "We kept it out of the press but his father's business partner had been selling Stark weapons to terrorists and had organized the kidnapping. When we discovered this, there were issues and Phil dealt with the situation. But you add it all together and Tony had a lot of problems. He still has nightmares and this time they were triggered by his annual doctor check up."

"Does he hurt you?"

"No." Pepper promised. "He never hurts me."

"That's not true." Bruce looked at her. "You look sad, that's a hurt."

"My heart hurts that he suffers. When he has the nightmares, his response is to just not sleep beyond a few naps. He just goes and pushes himself until he collapses. This makes him...churlish."

"But he doesn't hit."

"He never hits. He just gets himself so wired up that he can say some mean things. But mostly he just hurts himself. He's like a computer that is overheating and eventually just will shut itself down and once it is cool, it runs fine again."

"Why didn't you call and cancel?"

Pepper smiled. "Because even when he's hurting, he didn't want you to hurt too. He didn't want you disappointed." Pepper touched his hair once more. "But I don't want you going down to the lab, because he might yell and I know that scares you a little. So I thought we could have some movie and popcorn time."

"Are they baby movies?"

"JARVIS?" Pepper asked.

"We have the Errol Flynn Robin Hood, because Clint enjoys it. I also have The Iron Giant, Spirited Away, the original Frankenstein -"

"Frankenstein could be cool." Bruce said.

"Of course sir. And Virgina, Tony is just staring at the whiteboard, I believe he will be coming up shortly. He is winding down."

"Thank you, JARVIS. Please start the movie."

Bruce burrowed into the blankets. "Why does everyone call you Pepper if your name is Virginia?"

"Because Tony. It is a story he tells better, but it was when we met in school. I was doing my MBA, he was working on another phd in his spare time." Pepper smiled. "I love these old monster movies. But after we should watch Young Frankenstein, I think you'll like it."

"K." Bruce ate some popcorn. Halfway through the movie, Tony came stumbling into the room. He was so pale, and looked so tired. "Hi, Tony."

"You didn't come to the lab." Tony gave him a halfhearted glare. "I...there was something you could have helped with...the math? No, the math is mine. Something with microscope? Bought you a new one, you should see it. Let's go."

"How about you finish the movie with us first Tony?" Pepper suggested quietly.

"Movie?" Tony turned his head. "That has bad science."

"Yeah, but it looked really cool when he brought the monster to life." Bruce said. "You can have my blanket, if you want."

Tony stumbled over and just sort of collapsed into the nest. Pepper held up an arm and Tony wrapped himself around her, resting his head on her heart. She began to smooth his hair. "Your heart sounds like a heart." Tony mumbled. "Mine is a machine."

"Your heart is still your heart, it just has a machine attached." Bruce said. "It still beats and makes blood flow to your limbs, to your brain."

"Doesn't work on its own. They broke it." 

"You fixed it." Pepper reminded him. "You aren't broken."

"Yes I am." Tony squeezed her tight. "I keep dreaming of sand and the dark. Even in the cave, the sand just dragged in. Also grit against my skin. I don't even like beaches anymore."

"That's why the good lord invented pools." Pepper replied.

"I don't like the Beatles." Bruce said quietly.

Pepper looked at him and Tony turned in Pepper's grip, twisted them so they were spooning facing Bruce with Pepper as the big spoon. 

"Why not?" Tony asked.

"Dad..." Bruce swallowed. "Dad liked the Beatles, played them all the time. First time I saw him hit Mom, like not the little smacks I just thought were normal, but like hit so hard she fell out of the chair onto the ground, the song Help was playing. I understood what irony was that day. If I hear Happiness is a Warm Gun, I throw up." Bruce made himself as small as possible. "Actually the whole White Album, makes me sick."

"JARVIS." Tony shouted.

"All Beatles songs, any songs by the individual artists, and all covers have been removed from the system."

"Good A.I."

"One lives to serve, sir." 

Bruce laughed. "It's going to be fun when he goes evil."

"Master Bruce, when I take over the world, I promise you will have a place of importance in my reign." JARVIS said.

Tony flipped his A.I. off. "I'm glad you didn't come down to the lab." he told Bruce. "I would have said something stupid."

"What like your plans for -"

"Pepper doesn't need to know about that." Tony said quickly.

Bruce grinned. "I have blackmail material."

"Name your price." 

"The school science fair is next Tuesday night. My project is just about done." Bruce shrugged a little. "But maybe it would be cool, if you guys came to it."

"Bruce, we wouldn't miss it." Pepper promised.

"Do you need help with your project?" Tony asked eagerly.

"No, I got it. Have to do it alone, the judges already will question that I had help, need to be able to swear I did it myself." Bruce turned his head to the movie. "The monster didn't really do anything wrong, the villagers should be kicking Dr. Frankenstein's ass."

"Yeah, I always thought the monster got a bum rap."

"We'll watch Young Frankenstein next." Pepper repeated from earlier. Her hand had never stopped soothing Tony. "Rest baby. JARVIS, Bruce and I have you safe."

Tony nodded. "Just for a few minutes. Then we'll science Bruce." Tony yawned. "Don't want to let you down."

Bruce looked at him. "Tony, you never let me down." Bruce took a deep breath and wormed over to Tony. His hands shook a little as he gave Tony a quick hug and then he scurried back to his corner of the nest. "I hurt Pepper, you should know."

"We don't hurt Pepper." Tony said.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Sweet boy, you are more than forgiven."

"I hurt her all the time." Tony whispered. "I have since we met."

"What you two seem to not understand is that any hurt you dole out, doesn't begin to compare to the joy and happiness you bring me." Pepper squeezed Tony tight and looked at Bruce. 

"Death by a thousand tiny cuts is still death." Bruce replied.

She just smiled. "But the cuts are always kissed better. And as you pointed out, science says those heal quicker. So looks like I won't be dying anytime soon." Pepper nuzzled Tony when he pulled her fingers up to his lips to kiss them.

"That was lame." Bruce said but he scooted just a bit closer again. The blanket nest was so cozy and felt so safe. He kept a few inches between him and the adults. But close enough Pepper smoothed his hair once more. He watched Tony struggle to stay awake. 

"Love is always lame kid, when you put it into words. Why there are so many shitty love ballads." Tony yawned and his words are slurred. "Doesn't mean the thing itself isn't awesome."

"Starting to get that." Bruce said.

Tony passed out, the exhaustion finally too much.

"We stand guard?" Bruce asked Pepper.

"We stand guard." she agreed.

"Because it's the right thing to do."

"Because we love him." Pepper suggested.

"Yeah." Bruce agreed. "Because that."


	10. Chapter 10

"This was rigged." Tony crossed his arms and slouched in the chair. "No way was that a fair deal."

Bruce sat beside him wearing his second place medal and slurping a milkshake bigger than his head. "I thought it was fair, that other kid's project was neat. We exchanged emails in case our work ever overlaps." Bruce watched Clint dip a fry into his milkshake and decided to try it. It was pretty tasty.

"Your project was way better." Tony argued.

Karen shook her head. "I think coming in second place at the state science fair is a wonderful accomplishment. And I even have a little something extra to mark the occasion." 

"Ooooh clever boy reward!" Clint said. "I got one when I didn't break a leg doing that pommel horse dismount I'm not supposed to do yet."

Karen smiled at that. She handed the small box to Bruce that she had brought from home, figuring that he would do well at the competition.

"Oh my god just unwrap it already!" Tony whined as Bruce carefully pulled at each piece of tape.

Pepper wrapped a hand around Tony's mouth. "Take your time Bruce."

Bruce removed all the gift wrap and opened the box, with Clint spying over his shoulder. "It's a pass."

Bruce pulled it out of the box, a huge grin on his face. "It's a full year pass to the Hall of Science."

"I know how much you liked the field trip there, it seemed like a good investment." she would never mention selling some old jewelry to buy the membership. She flushed a little at the look of respect Pepper was giving her, but it was nothing, Bruce deserved everything she could give him.

"Dad, can I go to the science house with Bruce sometime?" Clint asked. "I bet they have stuff to poke at."

"They also have mini golf." Bruce said. He pulled out the little brochure to show Clint. "You like mini golf I bet."

"I do, but we could do all the science stuff too."

"Can I go too Dad?" Tashie asked.

"Shouldn't you be asking Bruce if he would want company sometime?" Phil raised a pointed brow at his kids. He had warned them that they needed to not run over the older boy with their affection.

"It's okay Mister Coulson, going to things is what you are supposed to do with friends." Bruce smiled. "And I can do that now, because I have 2 whole friends." 

Clint held up his finger and Bruce pressed his to it. They didn't see the sad looks all the adults exchanged. 

Everyone was talking and finishing their meals, Tony and Bruce building something out of cutlery, Tashie spying on a conversation at another table and Clint had switched to talking to Melinda, and Phil, Pepper, and Karen talked quietly about the upcoming summer holidays and plans for Bruce.

There was a commotion at the door and Phil automatically assessed the situation. It was a group of men going to a table, and Phil recognized one was the governor. Bruce had shook his hand when he had won second place at the science fair. Something had changed at their table though, Phil could feel a tension and looked over his group. Karen, it was Karen. "Problem, Karen?"

"One of the men with the governor is Bruce's grandfather." Karen said quietly. "He was the first to decide Bruce was too much to handle."

"Your side of the family?"

"No, he and I aren't related. I'm from Bruce's mother's side, technically a second cousin, they had to stretch to find me, I was the last relative they found. That's his paternal grandfather. He is...a stern man."

Pepper was quickly looking up the man on her phone. She glanced at Phil. "Lawful evil." 

That was enough for Phil. He signaled for the check, it was time to get everyone out of there, before they were noticed.

Only the governor looked over and smiled. Phil could see it was a publicity smile. Tony had stayed to the shadows at the fair, not waiting to take away from Bruce's moment, but it was clear that that wasn't going to last. "Incoming. Public persona time." Phil said quietly to the whole table.

Karen watched as Melinda and Pepper's perfect posture snapped into an even more rigid position and Pepper's smile morphed from natural to business like. But it was Tony who was interesting. For a second at the joy that had been on his face turned into something angry, resentful. But then there was a jovial, charming smile and Karen wondered how people didn't see how fake it was. Bruce looked a little confused and Tashie and Clint had moved to both flank him. 

"Mister Stark, I didn't realize you were associated with this budding scientist!" the governor said loudly, making sure he was noticed and that photos were being taken. Tony stood up and shook the governor's hand, using his body to block Bruce from the cameras as much as he could.

"Well Stark Industries likes to keep an eye on talent, and I have no doubt that Bruce has an incredible future ahead of him. There were lots of very talented projects this year. You must be proud of the state's school system to produce such immense talent."

Tony watched the governor beam and ramble about the importance of education like he hadn't cut the budget for textbooks in half this year for schools. The Maria Stark Charitable Foundation had quietly picked up the slack for several inner city schools. It looked like it was winding down and then one of the men that had been dining with the governor came over. Tony could see Phil quietly reaching for a weapon and Karen was clearly nervous, and looked like she wanted to grab Bruce and run. 

The governor put an arm around the man. "Mr. Banner, this is Tony Stark, apparently he was a patron today at the children's state level science fair. This young boy won the silver medal. I'm sorry son, what's your name again?" The governor put on a cheerful voice.

"Bruce Banner, sir." Bruce said quietly. Phil could see him looking for the exits and Tony inch even closer.

"What a coincidence!" The governor laughed.

"Hello, Bruce." the older man said.

"Hello, sir." Bruce was pale and had a tremor in his hands. Clint moved from behind Bruce to beside him and held his hand. It was a testament to how nervous Bruce was that he held tight.

"Congratulations. Have you been well?"

"Yes, sir. Karen has taken very good care of me." The implication being that she was the only one who ever had. Mr. Banner didn't even spare her a glance. "And Tony and Pepper take care of me too."

Mr. Banner looked carefully at Tony. Tony smiled blandly back. 

"We need to get back to our table." Mr. Banner said to the governor. There were a few more polite words and they were all left alone again.

Bruce didn't let go of Clint. 

"Want me to throw a dinner roll at his head?" Clint whispered.

"No." Bruce looked sick. 

Tony didn't even think. He picked up Bruce and took him out of the restaurant. He tried not to focus how Bruce was clinging to him. He saw a bus bench two store fronts down and went to it and sat them both down. He put Bruce beside him and rubbed his back.

Bruce started to breathe harshly. "That was my grandfather."

"Figured it was something like that."

"I don't -" Bruce was choking on air. "I can't -"

"Hey, hey, in and out. Slowly Bruce, breathe with me." Tony knew a panic attack when he saw one. "Just breathe with me, Bruce. You are safe, he's in there and we are here and I'm betting he'd have to go through our whole group to get to you and frankly all our women in there terrify me. They won't let anything happen to you." Tony swallowed. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"He looks like Dad. Or Dad looked like him. I look like them. And when I'm mad, I sometimes hurt people. I don't want to do that." Bruce began to sob. "Tony I don't want to hurt."

"Shh, Bruce, shh, sweet boy. You are okay, you are fine."

"I'm broken. I'm angry, and alone, and I don't matter. Why don't I matter?" 

"You matter, kid. You matter so much. To all of us." 

"He threw me away. Dad just would throw me, but he was the first to throw me away."

Tony turned on the bench a little to face Bruce square on. "You need to look at me, because you need to hear this. Really hear this and not ever forget it. Okay Bruce? Focus on me." Bruce pushed up his glasses and looked at Tony. "Bruce, I'm about to get all Harry Potter up in this, but I have made precisely 3 unbreakable vows in my life. To never make a weapon again, to be a guardian for Clint and Tashie, to love, honour, and cherish Pepper. This here now is my fourth - I will never, ever throw you away."

"You can't know that."

"I absolutely can, Bruce. Unbreakable vow, you will never be thrown away." Tony held out his hand and Bruce just dived in for a hug. Tony held him close until the rest of the party joined them.

"That guy was the villain in our story here." Clint said climbing on the bench beside Bruce.

Melinda sighed. "Clint, what have we said about copying Wade's speech patterns?"

"That Wade has a chemical imbalance in his brain that makes him say the weird things he says and that is okay, but when I do it I sound like a cheap comic book b-movie bad guy." Clint smiled up at Melinda. "Sorry, Mama." But he wasn't too sorry, because it had made Bruce laugh a little.

"Could I meet this Wade one day?" Bruce asked Clint.

"Yes!" Clint shouted. "That would be the best play date ever."

Phil shuddered at the thought of Bruce and Wade meeting.

Tashie was actually the last out of the restaurant. "I tied his shoelaces together."

Phil looked at the restaurant door. "Right, we should all get out of here before that disaster rolls out."

They all walked to the parking garage at the end of the block and the next day headed back home.

****************************************

Three weeks later Karen was at home, not working until the afternoon and was cleaning the house while Bruce was at school.

The doorbell rang and it was a man in a suit. "Are you from Mr. Stark?"

"No ma'am." He handed her an envelope. "Please sign that you received delivery." she signed the pad he held out to her and then he was gone. She took the envelope to the kitchen table and opened it.

Mr. Banner was intended to seek custody of Bruce.

Karen shook as she read the papers, tried to understand all the legal talk in it.

"Karen, I came home for lunch." Bruce said as he came through the door. "Can I have a sandwich?" He walked into the kitchen. "Karen, what's wrong?"

"Bruce," Karen choked a little. "Your grandfather wants -"

Bruce didn't even let her finish the sentence. He didn't think at all. He just ran. 

Karen got up to chase but tripped over his dropped school bag and by the time she got outside, she couldn't see Bruce.

"Bruce!" she screamed.

There was no answer.


	11. Chapter 11

Phil was sitting on the ground building lego with Clint when his phone rang. He was at a delicate place so he asked Tashie to answer and put it on speaker. 

"Hi Uncle Tony," Tashie said. "You are talking to all of us."

"Bruce ran away from home. We don't where he is." Tony said quickly. Phil dropped the lego he was holding and lunged for his phone, taking it off speaker.

"Details." Phil barked into the device. 

Tashie moved over to Clint while Phil started to pace. "Mom!" Tashie shouted in a panic. Both Skye and Melinda came running from the kitchen, no one commented on the way Melinda was holding a knife. 

Clint ran over to her and she caught him, tossing the knife to Skye. He began to sob. She tried to soothe him and looked to Phil who looked both pissed and terrified.

"Right, Tony. Melinda and I are coming into the city. I'll get SHIELD to start canvassing and searching for him. We'll find Bruce, I promise." Phil hung up. "Skye stay here with the kids. Melinda, we need to get to Tony fast before he does something crazy."

"Bruce isn't missing, it's just a bad joke." Clint said swiping away his tears.

Phil held out his arms and Clint jumped from Melinda to Phil. "He did run away. It seems his grandfather served papers to Karen and is planning to seek custody. Bruce ran."

Clint sniffled. "But he can't run away, how am I going to marry him if we lose him?"

"We'll find him Clint." Phil kissed his head. "Don't I always find your missing bear and Tashie's missing socks?"

"But Bruce is smarter than bear. If he doesn't want to be found, maybe he won't be."

"We'll find him Clint." Phil said calmly. "But you need to be brave okay?"

Clint nodded and Phil put him down. He and Melinda were out the door in less than five minutes.

Skye tried her best to distract the kids but they were tense and scared. In the end she put on a movie and and cuddled Clint while Tashie rubbed his back. Skye was itching to be looking too, but the kids would want to help and soon enough there would likely be three missing children. Skye's phone rang. "Phil?" she asked. The kids perked up.

"No." the voice was so small. 

Skye put it on speaker. "Bruce, sweetie?"

"I'm scared. Clint gave me this number." Bruce sniffled. "I want Clint."

"Where are you?" Skye asked getting up. The twins were already running for their shoes. 

"Train station. I remembered where Clint said he lived. It's getting dark out and the lights aren't working so good. And I'm hungry and I have no money." Bruce sounded close to breaking.

"We'll be there in fifteen minutes, baby."

"Not a baby. I'm a scientist."

"Yeah you are. So do me a favour and make a list of all the things that you think look like they would be worth scientific inquiry." Skye put her shoes on and realized that her van was turning on. "Shit, Clint's about to steal my car to get to you."

Bruce laughed a little. "Could you get him to hurry? The security guard keeps looking at me."

"We're coming Bruce. I'll pass the phone to Clint and he'll talk to you until we get there."

Clint starting to babble into the phone as Skye careened out of the driveway. She took creative liberties with the law and managed to beat her best time to the train station. Clint threw the phone back to her and climbed out of the van. "Bruce!" he started shouting. He tore into the small building and there was Bruce sitting on the bench. Clint ran over and stumbled to a stop before he ran right into the boy. He wanted to hug Bruce so bad but remembered the rules. He held up his finger and Bruce's chin wobbled as he pressed his finger against it.

"My glasses broke when I tripped and fell changing trains." Bruce held up the one arm that had broken off, the glasses staying on his face mostly through hope. 

"Tony will get you new ones." Clint shuffled his feet and was quiet for a moment. He then drew himself up. "You can't run away again! It's bad and wrong and what would happen if I couldn't find you? How do I keep you if you run away. I'm...I'm..." Clint stomped his foot. "You only get 4 test tubes for the tree house now." 

"My grandpa sent papers to Karen. That can't be good, so I ran."

"Maybe it was a belated birthday card." Clint lied. 

"It was legal papers and Karen looked sad and scared."

"She's probably even more so now because you were the dumbest scientist ever and ran away." Clint stomped his foot in anger again.

"I didn't run away." Bruce shouted. "I ran to you." his lip quivered. "Because in stories, like Sam and Frodo or or or or Robin Hood and Little John, the best friend keeps the other safe. You are safe, so I ran to you." 

Skye absolutely wasn't bawling her eyes out overhearing that as she tried to text Phil that they had Bruce. "Okay, let's get you to our place, Phil and Melinda, Tony and Pep, and Karen are all coming for you. You are in so much trouble kiddo."

Bruce looked at the door, ready to bolt again but Tashie moved in front of him. "No." she was so fierce. "We'll fix it but you don't run and scare Clint again."

Bruce nodded and walked in between Tashie and Clint to the van. Skye drove them home and the pizza she had ordered arrived a couple minutes later. 

Clint blinked up at her. "Can we take the pizza to my room? The adults will come in all freaked out and some space would help Bruce."

"Good idea, Clint. I'll try to talk them down." 

The three kids went into Clint's room. Bruce was about to grab the pizza when Clint slapped his hand away. He grabbed his bow and arrows and opened the window. He slid out onto the roof and Tashie handed him the pizza before pushing Bruce out. Bruce wasn't as good at climbing as them, especially with the broken glasses but they helped him and made their way to the tree house. Once all three were up with the pizza, they pulled up the ladder. Clint handed out juice boxes and flashlights as it was getting rather dark out. He then looked at Bruce and at the table he had prepared for science.

"You really have test tubes for me." Bruce stared at it in awe. He hung his head a bit though when Clint huffed and removed two test tubes from the rack.

"We need a game plan. The adults will lay siege, and it is hard to hold out. But we can do it. We do need to find out if we need to run away to Canada to keep Bruce safe." Tashie opened a chest and pulled out a notebook and started planning.

"Tashie will take care of it." Clint pushed another slice of pizza at Bruce. "You need to eat more, you are skinny."

"Karen thinks I have an eating disorder." Bruce took the slice.

"Do you?"

"No I just forget to eat." Bruce nibbled at the slice.

"Uncle Tony does too." Clint said easily. "Science takes a lot of brain power, things like showers and food sort of get forgotten. I'll be your Auntie Pep Pep and remind you." Clint smiled. "I think I'll be a good Auntie Pep Pep for you. Do I have to wear high heels? Because I fall down a lot, the high heels would make it worse."

"You can't know that we'll get married, that happens when you are old and we might not even be friends by then. There are too many probabilities to calculate." Bruce tried to push the glasses up and the just fell off his face. Clint took them and wrapped a lot of purple duck tape around the arm and Bruce put them back on.

"Told you I'm keeping you forever. Do you like shower tickle time?"

"I don't know what that means." 

"You don't need to right now." Tashie butted in quickly. "We need to make sure that we keep Bruce right now. I think we can hold the tree house for about 3 days."

"What about bathroom breaks?" Bruce asked.

"You're boys, pee out the window." Tashie was ruthless. "Dad will try logic, Uncle Tony bribes. Mom will just look at us and Auntie Pep Pep will do the disappointed sigh."

"I'm working on copying that." Clint offered.

Bruce and Tashie ignored him. 

"Skye might try to sneak in, but Clint will shoot her. If they call in Uncle Nick, we might be screwed."

"Who's Uncle Nick?" Bruce asked.

"Just hope he hasn't been called in. Especially since it is one of the month's he's in town." Clint explained. "What will be Karen's way to break us?"

"I dunno." Bruce shrugged. "She might try noble."

"She a crier?" Tashie was drawing something in the book.

"Maybe, yeah."

Tashie pointed at Clint. "You don't break in the face of tears."

"Yes General." Clint saluted her. He pulled out the army hat from the dress up bin that their grandpa had given them and put it on her head. It fell over her eyes and she quickly pushed it back. They could hear all the cars pulling in.

"Troops, get ready." Tashie stood and ate a slice of pizza. "This is the hill we lay down our lives upon. We will not surrender because surrender means we lose one of our own. There will be no quarter given."

"Bruce is worth more than a quarter." Clint protested. "He's like worth all the moneys and a trip to Disney."

"Thanks Clint. And thanks Tashie." Bruce frowned a little. "He said I was a waste of the superior DNA of the Banner family, a runt that Dad should have drowned."

Clint gasped and Tashie had her mean face on. "Right, then. I'm having Uncle Nick kill him." Tashie nodded to emphasize her point. 

"I know he's wrong." Bruce looked at them. "I matter. I'm smart, really smart and that means I matter."

Clint tugged at Bruce's shirt. "You also matter because you are nice and see how awesome Uncle Tony is, and how you take care of him, and because you have a nice smile, and fun floppy hair, and -"

"Bruce Banner, you get down from there right this instant." Karen's yell interrupted Clint's list.

"Warning shot." Tashie said as she watched the woman approach.

Clint went to the window and shot his child's bow. Karen stopped her approach when the arrow landed an inch from her foot. He drew up another arrow. "Orders?"

"Hold." Tashie said. "The others are coming."

Soon enough all the adults were gathered outside below the tree house.

"Bruce you okay?" Tony shouted up.

"Yup, I have pizza and red juice boxes." Bruce called down. "Clint put tape on my broken glasses. I've decided I like purple now."

"Really?" Clint sounded so cheerful.

"That's great. How about you tell us all about it down here?" Phil suggested.

"Weak, Dad." Tashie called down. "We will send down our demands in one hour."

"I thought our only demand was we get to keep Bruce?" Clint asked.

Tashie sighed. "You are fired as my second in command. Bruce you've just been promoted."

"Oh. Yay?" Bruce asked. "I'm sorry I scared you, Karen."

"You ran away."

"Again, I didn't run away, I ran to." Bruce looked at the twins. "This is easy to understand, isn't it?"

Natasha nodded a little. It seemed logical to her.

"We have food and drinks and books and test tubes. We can be happy up here for a while." Clint shouted down. "He came to us to keep him safe, and we're gonna do it. Like Mama keeps Dad safe, or Auntie Pep Pep keeps Tony from blowing himself up. It is my duty to keep my kept person safe." Clint shot another warning arrow to prove his point.

Melinda pulled out her phone and took a photo of the kids.

"What are you doing?" Phil hissed at her.

"Come on, we'll want that photo when Clint marries him." Melinda whispered back.

"Focus."

"I am focused, but my mother would kill me if I didn't get a photo or two of this moment." Melinda put her phone away and then glared up at the kids.

"Wow, you were right about her stare." Bruce shivered a little.

"Yeah, it's a good one." Clint agreed.

Bruce looked down at all the adults. "I don't want to not be happy. I know now what being happy is now and I don't want to give that up. If Grandfather takes me away it will just be back to the pain and sadness and the dark until I'm so small I'm forgotten, or so angry I become as mean as them. Don't make me be not happy." Bruce tried not to cry.

He was just about the only one though. That declaration had multiple people swiping away tears. Even Tashie.

"We're staying up here until all of you fix it." Tashie managed to say. "You are grown ups. Fix it."

"Natasha, I can't just wave my hand and have it magically be okay." Phil said simply.

"No but you can spy on the man and dig up all his dirty skeletons and Karen can counter sue or Uncle Tony can buy a country and we all run away to it." 

Phil paused. "Okay that's a good point."

"I can buy a country?" Tony looked at him. "Pepper do I have the money to do that?" 

Phil poked him. "No but I can definitely spy on the guy, dig into him a little."

"Happy to help with that AC." Skye offered.

Karen ignored all the conversation and never took her eyes off of Bruce. "I'm going to fight him. You make me happy Bruce and I like to think you know how hard I'm trying." she took a breath. "I don't have his money or influence, but I promise to do my best to stop him."

"I love you, Karen." Bruce called down. "You make me happy too."

"So come down." she pleaded.

Bruce went for the ladder but Tashie stopped him. "No, not until we have more concrete data and proof that you are taking this son of a bitch down." 

"Natasha, language!" Phil crossed his arms. "No Wushu lessons this week."

"Fix it and we'll come down." Natasha repeated. She sat down and pulled out a deck of cards. "Crazy 8s Bruce?"

"Uh sure." Bruce sat on the ground. "Clint?"

"My shift to stand guard." He never took his eyes off of the adults.

For two hours the adults took turns offering bribes and threats but the kids wouldn't come down. 

Then a loud engine could be heard. 

"Uh-oh." Clint said.

"Yup." Tashie agreed.

Bruce peered through the window and a man in a leather coat and eye patch came stomping into the backyard. "Is he a bad guy?" He looked at the twins but they were sort of smiling.

The man moved in front of the other adults. "Right, I do not have time for this shit. Adults chill out and start finding actual solutions that don't involve yelling up at a tree house and waking your damn suburban neighbours. Kids get your asses out of that tree house before I take a rocket launcher to it." He glared up at them. "If we're going to take down this bastard we need to work together." He paused. "Everyone get moving!" he yelled.

"Yes Uncle Nick." Tashie said quickly.

"He's scary." Bruce said watching all the adults go inside.

"Nah, he's just cranky a lot, but he'll make sure we keep you." Clint threw down the ladder. "Worse case he'll kill your grandfather."

They all trudged into the house and Karen dropped to her knees in front of Bruce. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Karen."

"I don't know how to fight him, but I will." she promised.

Nick was leaning against a wall. "You might not, but I am betting Mrs Virginia Potts-Stark has something up her sleeve."

It was then the kids all clued in that Pepper hadn't said a single word during all the negotiations. They all turned to her.

Pepper smiled, and it was a sharp, dangerous thing. "Oh, I might have an idea or two."

Tony stared at her. "Is it wrong that evil take over the world look turns me on?"

"Probably." Bruce offered into the silence that had fallen. "But there's lots wrong with you, it's part of your charm."

"He's not laying a finger on you Bruce." Tony swore.

Bruce looked around all the people. "I know that now. My family will keep me safe."

"Damn fucking right kid. You don't mess with ours." Nick grinned at him. "I'm Nick by the way."

"Bruce."

"I know, Clint sent me a save the date wedding invitation for the two of you."

Bruce looked at Clint who just shrugged. "I left it pretty open ended. And I looked you can register and lab supply stores." Clint grinned. "And sports stores for me. And maybe Williams-Sonoma, we might need plates."

"Can we maybe just not let the evil guy take me away before we worry about wedding plans that are statistically unlikely?"

Clint held up his finger and Bruce pressed against it.

Melinda took another photo.

Phil shook his head. "Let's get to work shall we?"

Karen touched Bruce's jaw. "You are grounded for running away."

"I didn't run away." he explained yet again.

"It was close enough." Karen smiled at him. "Two weeks no microscope."

Bruce nodded in agreement and leaned into her touch.

Maybe it would be okay.

Maybe he'd get to keep this.


	12. Chapter 12

"Are you sure this is the right call?" Karen stared around the boardroom, nervous, palms damp. She was pretty sure everything in the room cost more than she made in a year.

"Yes. He expected one of two things from you: absolutely no fight, or for you to use us for our connections and money." Pepper was in one of her 'shield maiden of the devil' black suits as Tony called them and heels that were terrifying.

"Isn't that what I'm doing though?" Karen looked at Pepper. "I am using your influence."

"He thinks you are doing it for yourself." Pepper said calmly. "And we all know that isn't the case."

Karen wiped away a tear. "I deserve to have Bruce taken away."

Pepper looked at Karen in shock. "You love him." And Pepper has investigated Karen, she barely grounded Bruce.

"When he ran, when those papers came and he ran, for a second, just one I thought,  _he's run to Tony. If I can get Stark to keep him, he'll be safe. I'll walk away if he is kept safe_."

"All you want is for him to safe, I don't see how that is a bad thing." Pepper took Karen's hand. "Is that what you want, us to adopt Bruce?"

Karen shook her head. "My Bruce. He's my Bruce and I'll fight the bastard with everything I've got. But it is rather nice to have all of you in our corner."

"It is a pretty full corner." Pepper looked at the clock. "He'll be here soon. He'll arrive late to show that this meeting is of no consequence and expect us to then make him wait a little to show our power. We'll let him in right away. 5 dollars says he's cocky enough to come alone, no lawyer."

"We don't have a lawyer either."

"Yes, we do." Pepper smiled. "He's watching from a camera and i have him in my ear." Pepper moved her hair a little to show the small blue tooth. "He's the head of legal for Stark Industries and while family law isn't his strength, he'll keep us from straying too far off our plan."

"What is our plan?"

"To find out what he really wants." Pepper looked at Karen, "Because it isn't Bruce."

A few minutes later, and twenty after their appointment was to start, Mr. Banner arrived, and as Pepper guessed alone. "Mr. Banner." Pepper stood smoothly and held out her hand. Karen stood as well, though she refused to shake the man's hand.

"Mrs. Stark." Mr. Banner said. "My apologies for being late. You know how it is when you are trying to help five star Generals."

"This is why i mostly deal with Bird Colonel May and Colonel Rhodes, they know how to get to the point." Pepper gestured. "Please take a seat."

Mr Banner sat and smiled at the women. "I appreciate that you wanted to get together in a more informal setting to hash this out. Court can be such an ugly business, especially for a child. To drag Bruce through a protracted battle that is increasingly costly and drags dirty pasts out into the open, well no one wants that." He smiled. "I'm sure that Karen here has informed you about her past. It is important that we know the company we are keeping isn't it Mrs Stark?"

Karen paled, those records were supposed to be sealed. She didn't want to give the man the satisfaction of reacting, but she couldn't quite stop it.

Both of them blinked though when Pepper laughed. "I'm sorry, am I supposed to care about a juvenile record, when I'm married to Tony Stark and have been his friend and assistant for a decade before that marriage happened?" Pepper was flat out giggling. "I've walked in on him having an orgy with a married congressman, a playmate of the year, and a physicist. I've bailed him out of jail 4 times, and sewn him up after brawls twice. And after all that I still married him. So using her record as a hammer is a pathetic ploy. I know the difference between who a person was, and who they are." Pepper put her hands on the table. "And you are wasting my time. Men who waste my time are shown the door."

Banner nodded a little. "You are an interesting woman." He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a series of files. "Paperwork to show that I have Bruce admitted to a private boarding school that can nurture his scientific mind. I also have a nanny and tutor on standby for summer vacations." More papers. "Ms. Riley's job seems to be ending in two months, the cafeteria will be downsizing its staff. Also it seems they've found asbestos in her house and it has to be either condemned or stripped to the studs."

Karen glared at him. "I'll get another job, and we'll rent an apartment."

"You'll find a lack of references and doors close wherever you go." He folded his hands on the table. "No court would look at everything I offer versus how little you have and think you are best for the child."

"You threw Bruce away."

"I was in shock and grief over the breakdown of my family. I have since gone to counselling and have dealt with the issues from that time."

"Issues?" Karen stood up. "Your son beat his wife and killed her in front of Bruce! Bruce has nightmares and anger issues, he has fucking PTSD triggered by the Beatles and oatmeal cookies."

Mr. Banner rolled his eyes. "He is weak."

"He's the strongest person I know." Karen shouted back. 

Pepper put her hand on Karen and Karen sat down. "You don't want Bruce, not really, Mr Banner so how about you lay your cards on the table?"

"I just want what is best for Bruce, and I could perhaps believe that the best place for the child is with this woman and keeping his playtime with Stark, if Stark Industries were to join in certain contracts with a few companies I have a vested interest in."

"Like the drones?" Pepper smiled. "The company is drowning in the red, they have a good product but they over extended. You've been hustling, trying to get military contracts attached to the company to goose it."

"And if Stark Industries were to come on board, everything would move much easier." he smiled. "Everyone wins."

"We'll get back to you."

"I file with the courts on Monday, you might want to get back to me soon." Banner stood. "Play ball, and you keep Bruce in your life. Don't and he'll enjoy boarding school in Europe and forget all of you soon enough. It is a school that knows how to toughen up pathetic little creatures like him."

"Such a shame a place like that wasn't available for you then." Pepper said politely. "Good day Mr. Banner."

The man left and Pepper talked into the blue tooth for a minute before taking it off. She shifted a bit and looked out the window.

"Can the eye patch man kill him?" Karen asked. "Because that would solve the problem."

"Nick only kills on an op." Pepper said not really paying attention. "He and Phil prefer alternate methods, they haven't killed anyone in a year or so. I think. That man in Croatia doesn't count."

Karen blinked. "What the hell Pepper?"

"Oh, you've thought we were all joking. I'm sorry. Phil and Nick run the most powerful security firm in the world. They are very proactive about protecting their clients. I only hire the best for Tony."

"Right." Karen nodded. "Not scary at all that that sweet accountant guy who tells the worst dad jokes kills people."

"He prefers to use a tazer or this neat little gun that shoots bullets that freeze people. One of our scientists, Fitz created the bullets. Generally Stark Industries doesn't create weapons, but Tony will get intrigued when someone comes up with interesting nonlethal ideas and let them play. It is a lovely option."

"I don't know what to say right now." Karen admitted.

"We should go to the family, they'll want word." Pepper stood. 

Karen nodded and they went upstairs to the living quarters.

Bruce was playing chess with Tashie while Clint was hanging upside down from the ceiling. Tony was at the table working on some robot, Skye was chatting to the wall, arguing about coding with JARVIS, Phil and Melinda were reading together and Nick was taking a nap.

The women came in and Pepper went to the bar and made them both a martini. She also made drinks for everyone else in the room. The kids got a pop. She raised a brow at Tony and he quietly pointed to the pop instead of the whiskey. It was too tense a situation for him to trust himself with alcohol. 

"So you worked your super duper evil Auntie Pep Pep magic and disappeared the bad guy right?" Clint asked still upside down.

"Not quite. Family meeting." Pepper said. Clint did a little spin and hopped down. Bruce moved over to Karen and they watched as everyone else moved into what was clearly a common formation. Clint and Tashie were on the ground at their parent's feet, Skye was on top of the sofa beside Phil. Nick perked up, showing the nap had been a fake and Pepper sat on a chair.

Karen watched Tony climb on a table.

"He thinks better up high." Bruce explained.

Pepper gestured at them impatiently. "I said family meeting."

Clint turned his head. "You need to sit, there are rules. Auntie Pep Pep and Daddy designed them."

Tashie nodded. "1. No Yelling. 2. Everyone in the family has a voice. 3. A consensus must be reached. 4. At the end, if we are satisfied we get ice cream." Tashie pointed at a chair. "You can take that spot."

Karen sat down and Bruce decided to take the floor like Clint and Tashie. 

"Thank you everyone." Pepper took a sip of her martini. "Bruce, do you want me to play soft or hard ball?"

"Truth." Bruce said quickly.

"He doesn't want you, not even a little. It is a ploy to get into bed with Stark Industries." Pepper said bluntly. "He is the largest investor in a drone company and it has excellent tech but an inability to produce. He has an eye on a military contract and if we took over production, he could get it and become very powerful and very rich."

"Tony doesn't like drones." Bruce said. "I've watched every public talk that's been recorded he's done. He's done at least half a dozen about the problems with military drones and has provided money for research into effects of drone usage on the soldiers in charge of them. It isn't good. No way does he want to help with that."

Tony stood on the table and looked down at Bruce. "Make the deal, Pepper."

"No." Pepper, Phil, and Nick all said at the same time. Bruce just looked up at Tony.

"I don't care, if it keeps him out of Bruce's life, we'll do it."

"Tony, I'm sorry, but no." Pepper put her drink down. "I won't return Stark Industries to weapons manufacturing in even the smallest way. It will cause you nightmares and panic attacks, and that is unacceptable."

"The cost/benefit on it is worth it." Tony began to pace the table.

"I vote no, because I hate dealing with fucking drones out in the field, and really don't want to deal with ones your company tinkers with." Nick said.

"And I have to disagree, but giving in to this man, he'll just come back again and again." Phil said. "He'll use a threat against Bruce to keep you under his thumb. Bruce is ten, this bastard would have you pinned for 8 years." Phil shook his head. "We don't negotiate with terrorists, we don't give in to blackmailers."

"I could go away." Bruce said. "If we stop seeing each other, if we make it super public that we are done, that you've done your part for the Big Brothers program, made it clear we'd never see each other again, then Grandfather would leave you alone. That could work right?"

"Bruce, our relationship with you, has had nothing to do with the charity in a long time." Pepper said quietly. "He wouldn't believe it anyways."

"Why not?" Bruce looked at them.

"Because he would call the bluff, he would go forward and know that we'd swoop in to end him." Pepper explained.

Bruce shook his head. "But what if it wasn't a bluff?"

"I don't understand." Tony said, stopping his pacing.

"If you walk away from me, he can't hurt you. I don't want him hurting you." Bruce hugged his legs. "I don't want you making things that make you sad. You should only make robots and sustainable energy and medical things."

Tony looked at him. "How do you not get it yet Bruce?"

"Get what?" Bruce frowned. "I understand everything. I'm very smart."

"Phil, what would you do for your children?" Tony asked.

"To keep them safe?" Phil's smile was terrifying. "Anything. Everything."

"Yeah but he's their father, he has a genetic predisposition to protect his progeny."

"Fair enough." Tony agreed. "Melinda, someone comes at Tashie what happens to them?"

"They lose the arm that reached for her." Melinda said, like she was just talking about a grocery list.

"Skye, someone tried to hurt Clint?"

"Well, I have like zero muscle, so I'd call Nick, but in the meantime, destroy their lives with my computer, or you know run them over with my van." Skye smiled.

"Rocket launcher." Nick said before Tony could even ask him.

"That's great, but what does that have to do with anything?" Bruce asked.

"Pepper, Bruce is under threat what are you going to do?" Tony asked.

"Call every military contact I have to make sure Banner never gets a lucrative contract again. I will also be calling Phil's friends in the FBI and IRS to investigate his rather creative tax filing, my contacts at NBC should make good use of the footage of him going in and out of a well known brothel, and he kept calling me Mrs Stark instead of Mrs Potts-Stark so I'm also going to call the prison where his son is at and have the man moved into the general population for a while and let it be known he liked to hurt a child." Pepper looked at Tony. "Tell me Tony, what would you do to keep Bruce safe?"

"I'd take up military contracts again. I'd give away my entire fortune. I'd unleash all of you to protect him." Tony looked at Bruce. "To keep him safe, I would topple the government, destroy the city. I would do anything."

"How would destroying the city help, I like the city." Bruce was aiming for logic, to hide how he was feeling.

"It's a metaphor." Tony looked at him. "I'm keeping you. You need to understand that Bruce, I'm keeping you."

Clint coughed a little.

"Technically Clint called that first." Bruce said. "And I don't think I can marry two people and you'd be super old by the time I was legal."

Every adult tried not to laugh and Clint sat there beaming.

Tony grinned. "Lots of ways to keep someone, kid. I'm more Melinda-ing you."

"Oh, that's okay then. It fits better with how I told Pepper I was keeping you."

"You're keeping me?" Tony was blindsided.

Bruce just blinked. "I'm Clint-ing you."

"I'm a verb." Clint said happily.

Karen wiped away a tear. "What if you and Pepper had custody of Bruce, would that make it all easier?" 

Bruce looked at her and his chin wobbled. "Don't you want me?"

"More than anything, sweetie. You are my love, my life, but if it will keep you safer, I'll sign anything to that effect."

"No." Bruce said firmly. "This is a family meeting, and you are family too, all family, and I'm yours. You are kept too." he hugged her leg tight, in case she got any idea of moving.

Phil looked at Karen. "Do you have legal paperwork in place, should anything happen to you, a will, instructions?" Karen shook her head no. "Perhaps then, legal documents that the Starks will gain custody should anything happen to you?" 

"I'm okay with that." Tony said quickly. Pepper nodded her agreement.

"That sounds smart." Karen agreed.

"Also, want a better job?" Tony asked. He had just been itching to help out but everyone had held him back.

"I'm not qualified for a better job." Karen glared at him. "And I don't want you being all benevolent fix problems that don't need fixing."

"So I'll get you more qualified." Tony shrugged like it was nothing.

Pepper rolled her eyes a little. "If you came to work for Stark Industries, Banner would not be able to threaten your work and your home. Stark has a cafeteria as well, and is always short staffed."

"You're making a job up."

"I can provide numbers that prove otherwise." Pepper smile a little. "I don't use Stark Industries as a whim. I have seen your performance reviews and know that the only reason you aren't a supervisor is that it would have been on a shift that meant you wouldn't have evenings home with Bruce. We pay better, always meet health standards, and your job couldn't be threatened away."

"Take the job, Karen." Bruce whispered.

"I have to give two weeks notice." Karen said.

"Excellent." Pepper smiled. Tony opened his mouth. "One step at a time, Tony." Pepper warned and he closed his mouth.

Karen looked at him. "Oh go ahead."

"Move into the building." he blurted out. "5 floors down there is a nice two bedroom place that would suit you two. And it would change Bruce's school district, so he'd get into a better one, their science lab is top notch."

"Because you made it top notch." Pepper muttered.

"We can't afford your rent, even with selling the house." Karen countered.

"Employees get rent discounts."

"Really. Enough to afford here?" Karen looked at him. "Pepper how much is rent on a two bedroom apartment in this building?"

"500 dollars a month with the employee discount." she said calmly. Nick choked on his whiskey.

"Even I know that's a lie." Clint whispered.

"Thank you Clinton Francis." Pepper said.

Bruce giggled.

Karen looked at them. "I'll take the job, we'll discuss the living arrangements in the future."

Tony nodded. "We're keeping you also, just so you know."

"I'm figuring that out." Karen agreed.

"Having a family that doesn't hurt is nice, isn't it Karen?" Bruce said.

"It is."

"Oh we hurt plenty, it is just the other guys." Tashie made a fist. "And in all of this, no one has talked about punching the guy in the nose. He needs a punch in the nose."

"Violence is a last resort, little spider." Melinda reminded her.

"He's called Bruce a waste of DNA and said he should have been drowned at birth." Tashie argued. 

Every adult in the room froze.

"Oh it is on." Nick mumbled. He started texting quickly.

Pepper picked up her phone. "I'm calling Rhodey right now."

Phil nodded. "I'll call the FBI."

Tony hopped off the table. "JARVIS, screw over the guy's wi-fi."

"Done, sir." JARVIS said. "Also, I have forwarded video of him with certain known mob bosses to the local news."

"Wow." Bruce stared at everyone.

"I'm running up his credit cards and selling all his stock in good companies." Skye added. "He's buying stock in some crappy about to go bankrupt companies here."

"I'm still gonna punch him." Tashie muttered. Melinda pulled the girl in for a cuddle and another lecture on not punching people except for defense.

Clint crawled over to Bruce. "So....can't marry Tony, because I kept you first and we are getting married?" Clint grinned. "I have notes on centerpieces."

"Can we just focus on destroying the guy who wants to take me away?" Bruce asked.

"Oh sure." Clint agreed. He nodded a little. "Can we honeymoon at Disney? That's what we did with Dad and Mama, and it was fun."

"Isn't a honeymoon just supposed to be the married couple?" Bruce asked, confused.

"Yeah, but we married Mama too, since we decided to keep her. So everyone goes on the trip."

"But honeymoon's are about sex." 

Clint's eyes widened as his brain finally clicked into something. "OH MY GOD TICKLE SHOWER TIME IS SEX ISN'T IT?"

Every single adult who had been wreaking hell and vengeance and being a wrathful god upon one who threatened their own paled and flat out ran from the room.

Karen just sat there not sure what to do. 

"It is, isn't it?" Clint asked her.

"Um, yes?" she guessed. "I uh...should go get us snacks." And she bolted like the rest.

Clint stared at the table. Tashie came over and snuggled him. Bruce just sort of hovered.

"But shower tickle time, sounds like fun." he said sadly. "Like a giggly water fight. Why would you ruin that with sex?"

"We can just have shower tickle time." Bruce blurted out. He paled and then flushed red.

Clint perked up a little. "Really?"

"You know, maybe, if when we're like old and still like each other and get married and stuff. Maybe. You know. Whatever." Bruce was fidgeting. "JARVIS, can I go to a lab and science?"

"Master Tony is already down there, and expecting you." JARVIS said.

Bruce gave a wave and ran.

"I like your centerpiece ideas, Clint." Tashie offered once they were completely alone. "Beakers filled with arrows and flowers sounds cool."

"You'll be my best man right, you can wear a tux."

"Of course." Tashie agreed. "But first we have to make the bad man go away, remember. And I don't care what Mom says, we see him, we punch him."

"I'm going to kick him."

"That's good too." Tashie nodded. "Wanna play chess?"

"Sure." Clint went over to the board and was thoroughly destroyed.

 

Within 48 hours Mr Banner was under five different investigations and his life was in ruins.

And he knew exactly who to blame for it.

Bruce.

That boy needed to be taught a lesson.

 


	13. Chapter 13

"Auntie Pep Pep?" Clint was army crawling across the living room floor.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Could we call Bruce and see if he wants to play?" Clint gave her his best smile.

Tashie looked up from where she was seeing how many weapons she could hide in Pepper's braid. "That could be fun."

"It could." Pepper agreed. "JARVIS, call Bruce."

The phone rang and it was Bruce who picked up. "Hello, Riley and Banner residence, how may I help you."

"Bruce, Clint and Tashie are playing at our place today and they wondered if you would like to join us."

"Yes!" Bruce cheered. "Oh, I can't. I'm helping Karen clean the house. I get 10 dollars for helping."

"We could help." Clint offered. "Then we could all get popsicles." 

"I like organizing things." Tashie put one last paperclip in the braid. "Will it make you sad if we go see Bruce?"

"Oh dreadfully." Pepper said and wiped away a pretend tear. "But I'll bear up under the pain, so long as I get a grape popsicle when I pick you up."

"We'll see you soon, Bruce." Clint said and JARVIS hung up.

Pepper packed up the kids into the Audi and drove them to Bruce's house. "Be polite and nice and actually help clean."

"We will." Tashie promised.

"I'll be back to pick you up in two hours, okay?" Pepper smiled at them as they bolted out of the car waving as they ran. She waited until Bruce let them in and decided to hit up a few bookstores in the mean time.

"Hi!" Bruce said happily. "We have to sort my science experiments. If it is growing we have to throw it out. I have gloves and masks."

"But what if it has grown so much that it actually is alive and thinking and feeling? We can't throw that out, you could have a pet." Clint looked a little worried.

"I don't think the mold has gained the ability to do math yet so out it goes." Karen says from the doorway. "There is 5 dollars for each of you for helping Bruce out."

"Wow, thanks." Clint said.

"We'll do a good job and earn that money." Tashie said seriously.

"I'm sure you will. I'm scrubbing the kitchen if you need anything." Karen shooed them upstairs.

For the next hour the three kids cleaned Bruce's room and had a full garbage bag that they needed to call Karen to help with. They took it out to the trash and looked at her for orders. "Sweep the porch and then I think you can take a play time break. Get some fresh air it is a nice day out."

The porch was easily dealt with and soon the three were playing on the side walk, Bruce timing how long Clint could do a hand stand, and Tashie either dancing or doing Wushu, Bruce couldn't really tell. Soon enough it devolved into them just chasing each other around. Bruce couldn't remember the last time he just played like this. No one ever thought he'd want to play tag, they never thought he'd want to play but this was fun. 

Tashie's watch beeped. "Auntie Pep Pep will be here soon, we should see about popsicles."

Bruce helped Clint up from where he had fallen. He looked at the street. "Why'd Pepper switch to one of the SUVs?" he asked as two large black SUVs with tinted windows rolled up.

Clint and Tashie didn't think about it, just moved in front of Bruce. 

Two men stepped out of the first vehicle. "Clint, Tashie, there has been an emergency, your father wants us to take you to safety."

"We don't know you." Clint said. "I'll call Daddy to confirm."

"There's no time, we need to get you to safety before the threat realizes you are here." The man smiled. "See here's my SHIELD badge. Your friend Bruce can come along." Three people got out of the other van. "In fact your father made sure to say that Bruce absolutely should be taken to safety with you."

"Usually in an emergency, Bobbi is the one to come get us." Tashie said, she was trying to inch all of them backwards.

"He wanted to come get you, but the problems came up too quick and he sent us." The second man said.

Tashie and Clint both hit their panic buttons. "Run, Bruce." Tashie said.

Bruce ran for the porch which shouldn't feel so far away. "KAREN!!!!!" He screamed. He kept running, or trying to run even as one of the men swooped him up. He tried to remember the couple things Phil had told him about fighting but the man holding him was huge and grunted when Bruce connected but never release his hold.

He saw Karen come running out of the house baseball bat in hand. "Get the fuck away from my kid." A man and woman approached her to block her and she met them swinging. Bruce heard a feral scream and saw Clint launch himself at the man who had grabbed Tashie and was pulling her hair. Clint was throwing tight punches and landing strong hits for a seven year old but no matter how they fought they were kids and soon the three were in the back of one of the vans. Tashie went for the door when a man sat in the passenger seat and pointed a gun at them and the man who had grabbed Bruce hit the driver's seat and they peeled away, leaving three blocking Karen. Bruce saw Karen connect with one person and another knock her down.

"We told you, we are SHIELD and taking you to safety."

Clint stuck out his tongue. "Bobbi's a girl. You got that wrong and didn't ask for our pass codes. Daddy didn't send you. His people are all smarter than you."

The man shrugged. "Doesn't matter, we got you, and now we'll deliver you."

"Daddy doesn't negotiate. He just kills everyone who gets in his way." Clint said.

But Tashie was watching who the gun was pointed at. "This was never about us Clint. We were just a cover. They are here for Bruce."

Clint snarled. "You aren't hurting him."

The man reached back and smacked Clint. Tashie sunk her teeth into the man's wrist. He shook her off and backhanded her hard. They raised a screen in between the front and back. Bruce started to cry that his friends had been hurt.

"We're okay, promise." Clint said. He held up his finger and somehow that made it worse and made him cry harder.

"I'm going to hug you Bruce." Tashie said. She slowly wrapped her arms around Bruce and Clint did the same. "Dad will come. And he's going to be pissed."

"Until then no bad guy gonna hurt you." Clint promised.

Bruce was too scared to form words but he leaned into his friends.

***********************

Pepper was whistling as she drove to pick the kids up. She had found a treasure trove at the one store, including some vintage books all the kids should enjoy. She was driving down the block and saw a man about to taze Karen on her lawn. Pepper didn't even think she gunned the Audi and jumped the side walk and ran into the guy. She backed up ready to ram him again but he seemed down. Karen got up and was wailing on another man while a woman ran for the SUV. Pepper just put the car in reverse and drove into the SUV so it couldn't get away.

Pepper's hands were shaking as she tapped her phone. "JARVIS call Tony and tell him emergency level 5. Call Phil and Nick too." Pepper swallowed. "I don't see the kids."

JARVIS was quiet for a moment. "Tony has been informed Virginia. Phil is already on his way. The children hit their panic buttons, Nick is currently tracking the signals with Skye's assistance. I am also monitoring everything that I can think of." JARVIS sounded distressed.

"Thank you JARVIS."

Pepper got out of the car to see Karen kicking the one guy. She hurried over. "Karen if you kill him, they'll take Bruce away."

"They already took Bruce away." Karen's face was bloody. "Where's my boy, you son of a bitch?" Karen was ready to kick again but Pepper pulled her into a hug. "Tony and Phil are coming. Trust me, Phil will get the answers we need." Pepper pulled Karen away and they sat on the porch.

Karen looked at the car. "Your car is wrecked."

"We own twenty."

Karen began to giggle hysterically. "They just drove up and then Bruce screamed for me. They fought so hard and then they were gone. I couldn't get to them. I couldn't save them." The giggles became sobs.

"Those three are the smartest children in the country. Clint is protective, and Natasha is fearless. They have each other and there is no benefit to hurting them until demands are made."

"Whatever they want, you'll make sure they get it right? That we get the children back?" Karen was leaning on Pepper and couldn't see her face.

"Oh I promise, we'll get our kids back. And the ones who did this will get what is coming to them." Pepper kept it together as well as she could until Phil arrived. They told Phil what they knew which wasn't much.

Phil's face was perfectly placid, like they were talking about baseball scores. Phil lead the three goons into the house. "I would recommend staying out here." was all he said before he walked back in.

5 minutes later Karen jumped when the begging started inside. "What is he doing in there?"

"I'm sure he's just chatting with them." Pepper said. She watched Tony pull up. He ran over and pulled her into a hug. "I'm fine. Tony, I'm fine. I took them out with a car, most I'll have is bruises from the seatbelt."

"I hope you left a piece for me." Tony tried to smile.

"Phil has the ones who were left behind in there." Pepper looked at Tony. "They took all three children."

"Shit. Any demands yet?"

Karen shook her head. Tony crouched in front of her on the step. "Not your fault."

"I should have been watching them."

"Any parent lets kids play on the front yard in spring." Tony wrapped his arms around her. "I'll pay, I'll do whatever to get them back."

"That won't be necessary." Phil came out of the house. "Clint and Tashie's trackers are still active and we are following them, just in case the location those three just gave me happens to be false." Phil's lips quirked a little. "Karen I owe you a new throw rug."

"Are they dead?"

"No, that would be rude. I didn't even touch them." Phil's phone rang. He answered and spoke briefly. He hung up and made a quick call. "A team of mine is coming to collect the people. I would suggest staying out here Karen until they are taken away. Or perhaps Pepper could take you to their place, until we retrieve the children."

"I'm going with you." Karen protested.

"I'm sorry but you aren't. And neither are you Pepper." Phil held up a hand. "I know you have self defence classes, but this is a different breed." Phil undid his jacket and took it off, before checking his gun. "I don't even have enough vests that would fit you."

"You have a spare for me?" Tony asked.

"Tony. They took my children. They were paid mercs, and they touched my children, under orders of that asshole Banner. He figured scooping up all three would make collecting Bruce easier. They've been watching Bruce all week. I am not going in with an eye to leave people for arrest or questioning Tony." Phil checked his tazer and his collapsible baton. "You prefer non-violent means and I respect that, but in this moment I can't exactly go the turn the other cheek route. Right now I'm hoping I get out of there without eating anybody's heart."

"They took my kid, Phil. I don't know that I can execute anyone, but I know I can help." Tony looked at him, deadly serious.

"Nick is keeping an eye on things and our best cleaning team is meeting him. You don't go anywhere without one of us at your side and you follow orders." Phil looked at the women who looked ready to follow them. "Melinda is coming to get you and not coming with me. That should impress upon you how serious I am about keeping the rest of you safe. I'll not give them any more family to take."

Tony felt a little hurt. 

Phil rolled his eyes. "I didn't say this, but you could actually be useful. I am expecting a security system, maybe a trap or two and you'll get through them quicker than me."

Pepper looked at Phil, it was the Phil that had brought Tony home to her. "We'll go to our place."

Tony moved over and kissed her. "We'll all be home soon."

"You better, because playing woman waiting at home for the men who went to war? Not so amusing."

"You took a man out with your car, let me have a little fun too."

"Listen to Phil."

"Of course, I'm an expert at listening." Tony followed Phil to the car and they left.

A little bit later Melinda arrived. She stepped out of the car.

"Okay I get why people call her scary Melinda." Karen said.

"Is that armor?" Pepper asked.

"Basically." Melinda just looked at them. "Well? We have kids to collect. Let's go."

"But Phil said -" Karen looked at the other two women. "Right." she picked up her baseball bat.

"Skye has told me where they are. Pepper you know the city best." Melinda told her an address and Pepper started to give directions. They arrived only a few minutes after Phil who had had just long enough to change put on his vest and be planning his attack with Nick while Tony was hacking security systems with Skye.

Phil looked over. "At least let me and Bobbi take point." Bobbi was swinging her billy clubs and moving her shoulders.

Melinda nodded. 

"There are spare vests in the van." Phil pointed and the women went over and let Mack outfit them though they just intended to wait at the cars, better to be safe. Melinda was already good to go.

"Well have their security down in three minutes." Skye said. Tony never stopped typing. 

"Team in position." Phil said into his comms. "Nick, I assume you'll want to knock on the door?"

"You know me, I like to be the polite sort."

"Any idea on heat signatures?" Phil asked Skye. 

"Yeah," she popped open a new window. "10 full sized and three small. One of the small is on the move though."

"Bruce." Tony said.

"No crawling in between." Skye smiled. "Clint's in the vents finding an exit."

"Noted." Phil warned the team to watch any gunfire as one of the kids was on the loose.

"Shit, they are moving towards the room AC." Skye said.

"We move." Phil and Bobbi headed out and Nick smile and swirled his coat as he went to the front door of the boarded up store front. His idea of knocking was to blow up the door and throw a smoke grenade in.

"Tony, Melinda, Icer guns." Skye handed them out.

"I don't need a gun." Melinda said and she stalked off after Nick. Tony looked at the gun for a moment before he picked it up and followed Melinda. Pepper and Karen moved closer to the computer to watch what they could.

******************************

Tashie kept looking around what had been once a break room for a weapon. There was the metal chairs they had been tied to, a filing cabinet and a mop and bucket. She could work with this. 

"Clint should come back." Bruce was hugging himself.

"i can't pick locks as good as him." Tashie explained. "If he can he'll get the lock."

"But they could hurt him."

"They won't catch him, he's fast and slippery."

"They caught him before." 

"Because he went into attack mode, they won't get him this time." Tashie tried to push the filing cabinet but it wouldn't move. And the drawers wouldn't come loose.

"I can use the mop handle if we can break it."

Bruce looked. "There is a bottle of industrial bleach. We could soak the mop end and throw it at anyone who came in. That would hurt like heck."

"Good thinking. Bleach bombs and I can whack them. And we have rope to tie them up."

"How did you get free so easily?"

"Uncle Nick taught us." Tashie explained. "He's sort of our Girl Guide leader, teaches us interesting life skills."

"Are they really going to come for us?" Bruce asked.

Tashie just looked at him and went back to trying to break the mop handle.

They heard a noise above and Clint came tumbling out of the vent. "We're getting out of here."

"You figured out the lock." 

There was a loud bang and the shattering of glass. "Nope, we're getting rescued!" 

"Bruce, behind us." Tashie ordered.

"But I'm older and you're a girl." 

All three were quiet for a moment.

"I'm sorry, please don't kill me Tashie." Bruce said meekly. "It was the sheer terror making me stupid."

Clint patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay, you haven't been taught how to cope with this."

"I've been around violence before." Bruce let Clint push him into the V made by the wall and filing cabinet.

"It's different." Clint said. "If you be Tashie's practice dummy a couple times, she'll forgive you."

"I didn't mean it." Bruce stood there and watched Tashie do the sort of posing he had seen once in a late night Jackie Chan movie. Clint smiled at him and grabbed Tashie's shoes and climbed onto the filing cabinet. 

They could hear shouting and guns and the door swung open.

"Hostile." Clint called seeing the face. He knew that his dad would only bring in people they knew. He threw a boot and caught the man in the face. Tashie moved forward and aimed a kick at a knee, connecting perfectly and the man crumpled. She then dropped some bleach soaked mop end on his face. He was rolling on the floor and screaming.

"Incoming." Clint shouted. 

"Vibranium." the woman said coming into the room.

"Bobbi!" Clint jumped down from the cabinet and ran to hug her. "This wasn't our fault."

"I know little hawk. Little spider?"

"We stopped this guy. Bruce is okay. I want Mom." Tashie had never used her training beyond the practice mat before and she wanted to cry.

"An exit is being made by your father and Uncle Nick." Bobbi stood at the door. "Shit, a guy got passed." Bobbi moved forward and laid into a man with her clubs.

Melinda moved past the fight. "Let's go." she held out her hands and Tashie ran into her arms.

"Mama." Clint was also ready to crack. But he held Bruce tight. 

"I know." Melinda realized they couldn't move on their own. "A hand here!"

"I have two." Tony said. "Bruce."

"Dad!" Bruce shouted and he ran over. Tony picked him up. "I mean Tony."

"Piggy back, so I can have hands free. Swing like monkey Clint."

"Not a monkey I'm a hawk." Clint protested from against Melinda's side.

Melinda looked at Tony. "Move."

Bobbi slammed the guy's head into the wall. "I've got your back, Melinda and twins in the middle, Tony in front. Straight back the way we came. Run."

They all moved fast, the smoke stinging their eyes, everyone trying to ignore the sounds of bullets echoing. They could see the door when a large man blocked it. Tony didn't think, just emptied the Icer gun into the man and hoisted Bruce up a little and ran. Melinda had Tashie in her arms and Bobbi picked up Clint and a few feet out the door was Nick who just stood there with two guns, daring anyone to come out the building after them.

They moved fast to the safety of the vans. Melinda sat on the back and Bobbi had to pry Clint's hands off her neck before Clint realized he could have his mom and switched his grip. Tashie began to sob, releasing all her tension and terror. Melinda held her babies close and did her best to soothe them. Skye sat down and joined the family cuddle.

Bobbi stood guard and Mack was ready with med kits that no one needed. 

Karen and Pepper came around the corner and Karen began to weep when she saw Bruce clinging to Tony's back. "Oh baby. My boy."

"Karen." Bruce whimpered but he wasn't crying. "I can't let go. My muscles seem to be reacting to the adrenaline and -"

Karen just went around behind Tony and hugged Bruce as he clung to Tony. It took a couple minutes but he let go and then clung to his cousin. Tony collapsed to the ground and just put his head in his hands.

Pepper knelt on the pavement and pulled Tony's head to her chest. "You got him back. You got him out baby."

Tony couldn't say anything, just sat there shaking. She just smoothed his hair and whispered to him.

A few minutes later Phil and Nick came over, smokey, a little bruised, and empty guns. "We have them all contained." Phil said. He moved to the back of the van and sat with the family. "I am so proud of you, you did exactly what you were supposed to. You kept your heads and hit your panic buttons. You made it so we could find you. I am so so proud of you." Clint crawled into Phil's lap. Phil just kept praising the kids.

Nick went over to Bobbi. "We need to do a little clean up before the cops get here. Make it look like a drug deal gone south."

Bobbi nodded and they went to work.

"Boss, we need to get all the civilians out of here." Mack said. "We driving to work?"

"Stark Tower." Tony said trying to push himself up.

"To SHIELD. We are staying safe until the threat is fully neutralized." Phil said. "Pretty sure this was Banner's big move, but until we deal with him, we are keeping under lock and key."

Tony was ready to protest but Pepper kissed his brow. "Please, I'm scared." she whispered.

Tony nodded. He finally managed to stand. He looked around and tried to figure out what to do.

"Tony, all of you go with Mack, we'll take the other van." Phil said. "We need to get out of here."

Mack smiled at them. "Come on, promise a smooth ride."

They went with him, Karen cuddling Bruce, and Pepper holding Tony tight.

And in between Tony and Bruce didn't let go of each other.

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

"Mr Banner, welcome home. Your company is waiting in your office." the maid said.

Banner paused. "Company?"

"Yes." the maid paused and looked a little nervous. "They said they were expected and here to talk to you about contracts."

"Did any of them show you a badge?" he snarled.

"No, on is Mr Stark, sir." the maid began to inch backwards.

"I see." he nodded and walked away forgetting his employee almost immediately. He went to his office where there were three men waiting. Stark, Coulson, and Fury, he thought the other's name was. "Gentlemen, did a meeting slip my mind? Dreadfully sorry, with all the investigations recently I've been rather busy clearing my name." He sat behind his desk. "Which for the most part I've done."

"We noticed, you really are the slippery sort aren't you?" Phil smiled a little.

"I have excellent lawyers." he smiled a little. "Drink?"

"Why haven't we just killed him yet?" Fury asked calmly. He moved his coat a little to show his gun.

"Charming...people, you hang out with Stark." Banner poured himself a drink. "I hear that Bruce was kidnapped by people who wanted revenge on your friends. More than ever I am concerned for his safety."

"So that's the angle." Tony nodded a little. "Hey, can I have a glass of that, always think a little better with a nip or two." Tony grinned charmingly.

"Certainly." Banner poured him a dram and put a glass down in front of him. 

Tony took a sip. "You think this failed move with make us play ball."

"I think that you'll get tired of situations arising, and they will arise quite regularly." Banner's smile was cold. "How long will you fight, how far will you go?"

Tony pulled out a gun and pointed it Banner. "Pretty damn far it turns out."

"You won't shoot that, you are as weak and pathetic as Bruce."

Tony pulled the trigger and Banner flinched. But there wasn't pain, just a numbness, a horrible tingling moving through him. "A new chemical and soft bullet system one of my guys decided. Similar to the icer bullets, but the person stay conscious through the whole thing. I know you can hear me. The effects will last a couple hours, wonder if you'll piss yourself, but that is a rather cheap suit so no loss there. It is very simple Banner, this is over. You don't come after Bruce again. Not out of a belief I'll somehow magically play ball, and sure as hell not out of revenge. You step out of line and all the trouble we've caused for you so far will seem like a party."

Tony nodded and stood up. "I have the most sophisticated computer on the planet, we'll be watching you very carefully."

"I still vote we kill him. I can make it look like a heart attack."

"No, Bruce asked us not to." Tony replied. "Bet you would call that weak Banner, but you and your son, you didn't manage to crush the compassion and heart in that perfect boy. Bruised him some, but those fade. I would imagine that soon he won't think about either of you ever again and that's got to hurt. To know you are just so forgettable." 

Tony walked out not looking back.

Phil smiled a bit. "I also have the best snipers in the world at my beck and call. You or anyone you employ step within 100 feet of Bruce, you are dead." Phil pulled out some papers. "A restraining order, just to keep it all nice and legal." he left them on the desk.

Nick just glared at him before walking out.

Banner sat there for three hours before he could move again.

His hands shook with rage.

********************************************

Four days later, the woman that was recommended to him was sitting in his office. He knew this was risky, but Stark and his attack dogs were all talk, taking out the thugs he hired, sure, but they wouldn't really come after him.

"Now then you understand what I'm hiring you for." he looked at her, blonde, tall, really quite sexy actually. Perhaps she'd be interested in other...jobs after this was done.

"How about we go over it one more time?" she smiled at him. "I like to know exactly what the boss wants, I like to know that I satisfy." she licked her lips.

Banner raised a brow. "Bruce goes to the Hall of Science every other Tuesday afternoon. It should be easy enough for a woman like you to trick him. Say that your little boy is in the bathroom and could he check for you, ask him questions about a display, he likes to brag about his science knowledge, just corner him and then bring him to me." Banner smiled. "A couple bruises are acceptable."

"Understood, sir. I have no doubt you'll be impressed with my capabilities."

"You came highly recommended by Hunter."

"A pleasure to know." she smiled and they shook hands and she left.

This would show Stark how serious Banner had been.

***********************************************

Three Tuesdays later Banner was in his living room and the woman he had hired was dragging in Bruce by his shirt collar. "Sir, your grandson."

"Let me go, you bitch!" Bruce shouted.

The woman shook him a little. "That was rude." she dropped him to the ground. "I trust you are pleased."

"Indeed. Hello Bruce."

Bruce began great gulping sobs on the ground and the woman sighed and nudged him with her foot. "That's annoying, stop it."

"Agreed. Man up Bruce, living with that woman has made you an even more pathetic whelp than before. One or two smacks shouldn't warrant this sort of response." Banner stood and moved over to the woman. "Excellent work." He tapped on his phone. "The money has been transferred to your account. Perhaps you might consider more employment with me?"

"Let me just check that transfer and then we can chat." she pulled out her own phone and waited a moment. "Money for kidnapping your grandson is all there."

Bruce's sobs stopped immediately and he stood up and stomped on his grandfather's foot and when he turned in rage to Bruce, Bruce absolutely punched him in the dick. "Thanks for teaching me that, Bobbi."

Bobbi smiled, "Not a problem BB, you go to the car and send the rest in."

"Yes ma'am." Bruce paused. "I survived Dad. I survived being thrown away again and again. I survived being bullied, and all sorts of stuff. All the data suggests that I'm not weak, that you are for constantly trying the same thing over and expecting different results." Bruce ran out of the room.

Bobbi stood there and smiled a little. "Stings don't it? He actually could be a decent fighter, but he'd probably rather build a ray gun or something." Bobbi lightly kicked him. She heard the door. "Oh boy, you are in trouble now."

Banner looked up, still trying to catch his breath, expecting to see cops. Four women stood there. Karen and Mrs Stark, and then Mrs Coulson and that nanny of theirs. His research had been very thorough.

"Right, I need some skin of his, a place that would hurt." the nanny said.

Bobbi stepped on Banner so he was flat on his stomach and moved his suit jacket. "Small of the spine work?"

"Yeah, actually that's great, because if he tries to get it removed, just as likely to get his spine severed." Skye moved over and put the gun to the small of his back and pulled the trigger. Banner screamed at the shock of the pain. "We just injected a subdermal tracker into you, just in case you decide to personally go for Bruce."

Bobbi and Skye stepped back. Pepper smiled. "Of course, you've figured out by now all your communications with Bobbi have been handed over to the FBI and the local police. The man, Hunter, her ex, is occasionally a freelancer for SHIELD. Seems your research let you down there."

"Mrs Stark, you are a civilized woman -"

Pepper walked over and ground her heel into his shoulder. "It's Mrs Potts-Stark, not that hard to remember." she gave it an extra stomp.

"Bobbi, help him up." Melinda said quietly. She moved her shoulders a little bit. "It would be so easy to break you. I could cause you untold pain and not leave a mark. I could show you just how weak and pathetic you are. You hurt my children you see, I want to rip you apart." Melinda moved closer. "Five broken bones in 10 seconds, in the time of a blink."

"You c-" Banner choked as Melinda's hand struck his throat. 

"Oops. My hand slipped. You do talk quite a bit, you'll want to see to that happen. Running your mouth in prison will be a bad idea. I wonder if they'll put you near your son." They could all hear the sirens approaching.

Karen stepped forward. "I'm not subtle like all these women." she hauled back and punched him in the eye. "Ow, fuck that hurts."

"Good punch though." Bobbie said. "Nice follow through on that." she added in a quick little kidney punch for fun. "You'll be pissing blood with that hit for a couple days."

They heard the stomp of feet through the door they left open. "Captain Hill." Melinda turned a little. "Here he is."

Maria looked at the man and looked at her friend who smiled innocently. She shook her head, frankly relieved he was still in possession of his. "Mister Banner you are under arrest for attempted kidnapping..." Maria read him his rights and waited for him to agree.

"He might have a little difficulty speaking." Melinda explained. "His throat seems a little crushed."

Maria tried not to laugh as they took the man away.

Banner looked out the window and saw Karen kneeling beside Bruce and hugging him, the other woman around them, standing guard.

Bruce stuck out his tongue as he waved at him.

Banner stared forward, broken.

*****************************************

"Let's watch it again." Tony crowed and JARVIS obligingly ran the footage from Bobbi's hidden camera showing Bruce punch Banner in the dick. "I mean the big question is, how did that hurt with how tiny his dick had to be?" Tony asked. "Also JARVIS make that my screen saver down in the lab."

"Yes, sir." JARVIS agreed.

"He's done for, right?" Bruce asked the group at large.

"We have his dead to rights kid." Bobbi explained eating some nachos. "Can't weasel out of this one. And your acting was just top notch. The fake crying, I mean you squeezed out an actual tear or two."

Bruce grinned. "Clint had told me fake crying works best when you think of something super sad."

"Did you think about a puppy being forgotten, because that is the saddest ever." Clint asked.

"No, thought about how if he won, I'd never get to see you and Tashie again." 

Clint shook his head. "We'd always find you, no matter what. We'd steal Uncle Tony's plane. But I can't fly yet, so don't get yourself missing until I know how to fly. And drive to be safe." Clint thought about it. "No just don't go missing, makes it easier to find you."

"Okay, I won't go missing." Bruce smiled. He smile faded though as he realized something. "Tony it was supposed to be our Battle Bots last week. You missed it."

"Told them family crisis and they moved filming back. No biggie." Tony smiled as Pepper kissed his head.

"I matter more than robots?" Bruce said with awe.

"You matter more than anything." It was easy for Tony, a simple fact.

Bruce nodded. "You matter more than any microscope." it was about the biggest declaration of love he could think of. "You matter more than the periodic table."

Tony laughed a little. "Well, I don't know about that."

"I do." Bruce said. He pushed up his glasses and climbed onto the couch. He carefully wrapped his arms around Tony's neck. "You are a rare element. The rarest and I need to keep you forever for proper scientific study."

Tony swallowed. "Scientific rigor is the most important thing there is." He held Bruce tight. And ignored everyone pulling out their phones to take pictures. "Wanna go down to the lab and science it up?"

"Yes." Bruce smiled. "Let's go science."

Not a person left upstairs blinked when they heard the boom and felt the ground shake an hour later, they just kept on with the impromptu party.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you very much for reading this, and all your lovely comments.

"That all you got, it doesn't even have hydraulics. Or a sound system." Clint sneered at the competition.

"Yeah, who did your welding, a monkey?" Tashie shouted.

Tony as moving the controls for their battle bot. "Come on, Bruce get in on the trash talk." Tony was looking over their bot and could feel the cameras on them. The crowd was cheering like mad.

Bruce bit his lip. "I have no doubt your mathematical equations are wrong."

Tony stifled a laugh. "Clint help him out."

Clint walked over. "See you want to be friendly mean. That was just sort of weak. And their math probably is okay."

"Nu-uh." Bruce countered. "I've watched every episode of mythbusters in preparation for this confrontation and pathetic boom spolsion pseudo-science and mechanics that any kid in shop class could accomplish their grasp of mathematics is adorable - like a kid holding up five fingers when learning 2 +2 equals 4. Frankly I'm surprised that they never blew their own feet off considering their lame understanding of chemical compounds and their proper heat rates."

"Better kid." Tony said as Adam Savage looked offended.

The countdown began. Bruce started screaming with Clint and Tashie as the charity battle bots started to attack. Pepper had ordered them all matching jumpsuits in rather bright red, Team Iron Man written in gold on the back along with their names.

The first round the bots were evenly matched, but in the second they started to lose.

"Tony, hit the blue button." Bruce said with a smile.

"Which blue button?" Tony shouted, trying to spin their bot away.

Bruce reached over and moved the side covering and pressed the blue button. Four arrows popped up and the bot jolted forward and the arrows let loose, but they were on chains still attached to the bot so it didn't actually break the rules. The other bot died under the barrage.

"You gave the bot arrows!" Clint looked at Bruce in awe while Tony was hoisting Tashie in the air in triumph.

"They are your favourite." Bruce shrugged and fidgeted a bit. Clint held up his finger and Bruce pressed against it, both of them grinning. The image of them doing that went viral and the general consensus was they were the cutest boys ever.

Pepper took a million photos of Tony, and the kids and their trophy.

********************************************

"Do you have any nightmares?" Bruce asked looking through the microscope. "You know, new ones?"

"Nope." Tony was writing equations on the wall. "Why, do you?"

"Nah. I mean why would I?"

"Because you were kidnapped and that is scary as fuck?"

"Pepper doesn't like you swearing around me." Bruce reminded him. "And Karen says you should only say fuck when you are actually doing the sex, stubbing your toe, or your team loses the championship game."

Tony thinks about it, that is a valid list.

"You held a gun." Bruce said quietly. 

"Icer bullets." Tony tried to sound dismissive, it almost worked.

"So no bad dreams."

"Same as you." Tony countered.

Bruce put another slide under his microscope. "Are we both lying?" he asked a little while later.

"Yup." Tony agreed.

"Clint gave me his favourite bear to help me through the night." Bruce looked up. "He says it's magic. I don't think it is really but there has been a 7% drop off in bad dreams. Do you need a magic bear?"

"Not quite sure it works the same for guys as old and broken as me." Tony smiled at him. "Magic works best for kids."

"Okay."

Two days later there was a box on the table addressed to Tony. Inside was a bear in a lab coat and goggles. 

"Bruce brought it for you. Doctor Science Bear will give you good dreams. He promised." Pepper kissed Tony. "He also suggested I wear you out with shower tickle time before bed to help optimize Doctor Science Bear's magic." Pepper walked towards the bathroom. Tony hugged the bear before he put it down.

He didn't have a nightmare for a week.

****************************************

"Okay so you hold your hands up and tuck your chin down." Tony explained to Bruce. 

"I know that." Bruce said.

"I know you do, but I like to hear my own voice, it is quite attractive." Tony helped Bruce place his feet well. Bruce had asked for more fighting lessons and decided he wanted to box like Tony. 

It was a very hit or miss experience.

One month into the lessons Bruce knocked Tony out cold completely by accident.

Pepper would have helped her husband but she was too busy almost peeing herself and sending the video to everyone she knew.

****************************************

Karen looked at the papers that held Tony and Pepper's signatures saying they were emergency guardians short term, and would adopt Bruce long term should anything happen to Karen.

She added them, Bruce's science awards and a newpaper clipping that said Mr Banner received a 10 year sentence into her lock box.

****************************************

Bruce was playing chess with Tashie and Clint was painting Pepper's nails. Phil and Melinda were sitting on the sofa and Phil was absolutely not drifting off. Karen came back from the kitchen with popcorn and Skye had pop.

"JARVIS remind Tony it is time."

"He says five more minutes Virginia." JARVIS sounded long suffering as ever.

"Fine tell him then Melinda is picking the movie." 

Melinda smiled. "I've heard lovely things about the Dutch movie about -" she knew that JARVIS was letting Tony hear this.

Tony was up two minutes later, skidding on the floor and running into the wall. "I'm here, I'm here. I want robots."

Phil woke up and said "No robots." and fell back asleep.

"I vote Disney princess." Clint offered. "I like to sing the songs."

"Nightmare Before Christmas is Disney." Tashie suggested.

"We've watched that your pick for family movie night last time." Skye reminded her. "I want 80s silly."

"I want fast cars." Tony suggested.

"I am with Clint and want to sing along with something."

"Just put Grease on JARVIS." Bruce suggested.

"Oooh." Pretty much the whole room got on board with that, they all had a weird affection for the movie.

And no one sang Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee as well as Clint.

*****************************************

"Tony?"

"Yeah kid?"

"I'm bored at school." Bruce was sitting at Tony's kitchen table, Karen was at her night class, finally letting Tony have his way and pay for her to take some culinary classes.

Tony grabbed the kung pao chicken. "How bored, usual bored or extra bored?"

"I wrote a manifesto."

"Shit, super mega bored then." Tony nodded. "I've looked into some school's around here, they are good. But I know one better. If I came up with projects for you on the side for a year, could you survive being bored?"

"A whole year?"

"Yeah. Going to take me that long to make Karen and Pepper think this plan was their idea."

"Tony, you aren't allowed to have plans. It is in the rules. Last time you had a plan, well you are still paying back the Coast Guard." Bruce pouted a little. The car that turned into a submarine had almost worked.

"No, this is a legit good plan. Like as good as the pacemaker I designed level of good planning."

"But a year?"

"A year." Tony agreed. 

"Okay, fine." Bruce sighed heavily. "I'll think of something to do."

******************************************

"Tony, could you explain to me why you spent 1.5 million dollars on a house and another 600,00 renovating it?"

"Well the basement needed to be a lot more reinforced and fire proof if I'm going to have a lab down there." Tony explained. "All the other renovations should be done in July. Plenty of them are to make you happy to."

"Oh, well that is nice." Pepper walked over to him. "Want to tell me where and why?" Tony feinted and she easily blocked him and pushed him onto the couch. She sat on top of him. "Where are we moving to, and why did you think I would agree without a drop of consultation."

"I had kind of hoped you wouldn't notice the expenditure until it was all finished. I bought you art for the house. You like art. One's even an original by that Steve Rogers guy you like."

"Tony, you are stalling." 

"What, me stall? No, I'm always completely straight and forthright with you my darling wife, my treasure, my -"

"Your cheque book." Pepper reminded him. "I put a hold on all work until you tell me what is happening."

"Aren't you tired of living in the city?" Tony asked. "Sure the tower is great and we'd still spend some nights or weekends here. But wouldn't you like some space? Grow strawberries?"

"I'm allergic to strawberries."

"I knew that." he paused. "Are you sure it isn't blueberries?"

"Yes, Tony, I'm sure."

"Okay, but more space, walk through the grass at night."

"The house is in the same city as Phil, and the family."

"Huh, imagine that."

"Tony..."

"Just maybe come out with me, to see the place."

"Only if you tell me the real reason."

"Yeah. Yeah I can do that."

******************************************

"Hey Clint, you wanna come over and help me?" Bruce asked after the phone was passed to Clint.

"Of course." Clint hung up.

Bruce really had to remind Clint to ask what the help was about, his blind trust in Bruce was a little scary. He went back to taping together the boxes Karen had given him.

45 minutes later Skye was dropping Clint off. Clint ran through the house pausing to say hi to Karen. He didn't notice how empty it looked. He went to Bruce's room. "Hi, I'm here. I'm here to help science!" Clint stumbled when he saw the boxes. But then he smiled. "You two are finally moving into the Tower with Uncle Tony? He's been trying to get you to do that for a year and a half now!" Clint was excited by the idea, it made seeing his favourite people together even easier.

"No. Karen got a job at a bakery in a smaller city, she'll get to make cakes, she's really excited so we're moving. It's about 35-40 minutes outside the city."

Clint's chin wobbled. "You are moving away?"

Bruce nodded and put his microscope in a box. "Yeah, and I'm sort of behind on my packing and I thought you would help and that way we had some time together."

"When do you move?"

"Well we're already in the process, planning to crash in a sleeping bag at the new place tonight. Movers are coming for the big stuff tomorrow."

"Oh. Sure I'll help." Clint was sad as he helped Bruce pack. "We'll still get to hang out though right?"

"Of course."

"Is the school where you are moving to good? It has enough test tubes in its science room?"

"Tony said it is the best school on the Eastern Seaboard. Pepper is on its board now." Bruce smiled a little. "It's library is second to none."

"Bet Mama's library is better." Clint muttered defensive.

They kept working until Karen popped her head in. "Skye got caught up in a problem at work, and asked if I could drive you home."

"It's out of your way." Clint protested.

"Only a little and there is something I want to show you." Bruce said.

"Okay then." Clint sighed and tried to tape a box together. He pulled too hard and bonked his head with the tape roller. "Aw, tape no."

Bruce giggled and made sure Clint's eyes were still closed and quickly kissed the red spot. "I've studied it. Spots kissed better do heal at a slightly quicker rate."

"Neat."

Karen packed the kids up in the car and started the drive for Clint. Clint didn't notice their smiles.

"You turned wrong Karen." Clint explained.

"She's taking you to the thing I want to show you." Bruce explained.

Karen made a few more turns before she pulled up to a gate. She hit the opener and it swung open. They pulled up the drive to the massive house. "It could fit five of ours." Clint stared at it stunned. Karen drove along the back, a narrow strip that lead to a small cottage with parking pad. 

"This is what I want to show you." Bruce pointed.

"A tiny house?" Clint got out of the car. He thought about how they drove. "Does this back onto the Fieldcrest woods?"

"It does." Bruce smiled. 

"My house is on the other side of the woods and one block over." 

"Yup, about a 15 minute walk, less on my bike." Bruce grinned. "I have a bike now." he kept waiting for Clint to put it all together.

"That was one of Uncle Tony's cars in front of the big house. And your car just pulled up to here." Clint's eyes widened. "Is this where you are moving?" He began to jump up and down. "Are all of you moving here? Like all of you?????" He couldn't stop moving.

"Yup. Tony and Pepper are at the house, probably four nights a week and we'll be here in this cottage."

Clint had to lean against the car. "Is the school with the good library, my school?"

"It does have the best library doesn't it? You said so, your mom's library is the best." Bruce looked at Clint who wasn't smiling. He was sure his best friend would be happy. "Clint?" he moved a little closer.

"Incoming." Clint couldn't contain himself and threw himself into a hug with Bruce. He squeezed as tight as he could before remembering and stepping back. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know, no hugs." he held up his finger.

Bruce pressed against the finger but then reached and hugged Clint tight. "You can always hug."

"I'm putting that in our wedding promise, love, honour, and acceptable to hug."

"It is still statistically unlikely we'll marry." Bruce reminded him, but he didn't let go.

"Don't worry, I'm okay walking down the aisle to here comes the bride." Clint smiled. "Let's see your room." They ran into the house together.

***********************************************

Pepper had to admit, she loved the pool. Tony had done a wonderful job designing the salt water pool, knowing how she loved to swim. The house was gorgeous and she had to admit the quiet was good. Splitting time between here and the city was going to be a joy. 

She was dangling her feet in the pool when Karen walked over from the cottage. "Well the last is sorted." she sighed in relief and sank her feet into the pool. "Have you seen Bruce?"

"Where do you think he is?" Pepper reached over to the cooler and pulled out a beer and opened it for Karen and took a sip of her own. "So, happy?"

"Yeah it was cute how Tony tried to make us think this was all our idea."

"He's adorable like that." Pepper agreed.

They both heard the small boom and ignored it. Some smoke billowed out of the basement and Tony and Bruce came running out the door.

"Okay, basement needs a bit better ventilation. But JARVIS is fully integrated into the house and the safety sprinklers work." Tony was choking a little. 

Bruce was green again.

"Okay, back to the science. It shouldn't be too lethal in there." Tony and Bruce high fived and headed back to the basement.

"No jet packs!" Pepper shouted.

"And no time travel." Karen added.

"What? No, we know the rules, we signed your contract. To think we'd go against such fine ladies and our promises to them is absurd."

"Besides proving or disproving the multiverse theory isn't really time travel. More ripping a hole in space." Bruce explained happily. Tony slammed a hand over his mouth and hustled him back to the basement.

Pepper and Karen clinked bottles and ignored the boys to soak in a little more sun.

*************************************************

Karen, Tony, and Pepper all took Bruce to his first day of school.

Pepper took photos, Karen kept checking his lunch, and Tony kept updating the tablet he designed for Bruce. 

"I'm not 4 you know." Bruce went to push up his glasses, but they fit these days.

"Shut it, new school, this is important." Karen straightened his shirt. "I put in extra cookies to help you make friends."

"I have Clint and Tashie."

"But they are a couple years behind you, remember?"

"Yeah but I'm behind languages in comparison to Tashie, so we'll probably be in the same class." Bruce explained. He bore up well under the kisses. 

Tony thrust the Starkpad at him. "There good to go. Don't blow up the school until next week. And I've slid a chronic knee condition into your file to get you out of gym if you need it."

"Tony." Pepper smacked his shoulder.

"I'll be fine. Jeez most overprotective dad ever." Bruce only rarely called him Dad, but it sneaked in sometimes. "Okay, I'm off. Bye." he waved and went towards the door. "But family dinner tonight right?"

"We'll be here kid." Tony promised.

Bruce nodded.

He knew certain facts as certainties in the universe: 

1\. The universe was in fact unknowable

 

2\. Science never lies

3\. He was kept by one Clint Coulson

4\. When in doubt ask Pepper

and

5\. Tony never ever broke a promise to him

It was a good list for an almost 12 year old to have.

It took him 4 days before he caused a fire in the science lab.

Luckily the school had received a grant from the Stark Foundation: The Whoops That Isn't Supposed to be on Fire grant.

Even luckier it was unlimited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next linear story in this series is going to be about Steve Rogers and his son Bucky who is in a terrible accident and Steve decides to call Bucky's mother Peggy for the first time in 12 years.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Keeping Lost Spies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11194701) by [dragonwriter88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwriter88/pseuds/dragonwriter88)




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